Sunday, April 03, 2005
Signs of Life by TM Sheila Mapanao
SIGNS. When you hear the word “signs”, what’s the first thing that comes to mind? Maybe the street signs or billboards we encounter everyday while on the road? Well, honestly, I was thinking of totally different kind of signs. Am referring more to meanings, events or clues, or signals, or messages that we ask for and receive.
I’m sure you’ve heard this before. We know that St.Theresa was known as: "The Little Flower". Whenever you pray to her for a miracle, she will send you a rose in one form or another when the miracle has been granted. You may smell roses, receive a rose by visual means, etc.
Now, how does this apply to me? Before making a decision I usually pray for it first, then ask for a sign if I’m making the right decision. Even in such trivial decisions as buying a pair of shoes, I murmur a silent “prayer” (if you can call it that) that if the store doesn’t have the shoe in my size, then this beautiful pair of shoes is not for me. It was not meant to be… True! I’m like that! It sounds funny, I know, but I guess I’m so used to doing this, that it’s almost second nature.
Before I decided to leave my ex-husband, I was in a quandary. I had so many things to think about, but my primary consideration was the family, how I wanted to keep us all together. But then, I also had to think about my own safety (and sanity), and my kids’ safety as well. And I remember telling myself, just one more time. If this happens just one more time, I’m out of that door and I’m never going to turn back. So when that finally happened, I left and escaped out that door with just the kids and a few clothes in tow. And I’ve stuck with that decision. No amount of pleading, promises, or “what have yous” made me even consider going back. One thing you should know about me, I can be quite bull-headed once I decide on something.
Most of you know that I’m currently in between jobs (this is my current issue now!). And I remember before I made that leap of faith, and decide to call it quits from my last job, even before I had a new job lined up, I was very aware of signs that I was not happy anymore at my job. For one, I dreaded going to work. It was as if each working day I’d wake up sluggish and feeling sick. In the middle of the week, I was already looking forward to the weekend ahead. You know what I’m saying, right? We all have those days, I’m sure.But in my case, with my last job, these things happened EVERYDAY. But I knew I couldn’t just quit! Because a major concern for me then, was the financial issue. How was I going to survive without a job? How was I going to support my kids?
So what did I do? I prayed. I prayed for guidance that I was doing the right thing. And you know what kind of answer I got? I got a call from my previous employer,telling me that my last pay was already available for pick-up. So, suddenly I had the money that would tide me over during my unemployment. And you can bet, that same day that I found out that the money was already in my bank account, I tendered my resignation. Ha!That felt goood…Believe me, that felt really good.
So going back to my title “Signs of life”. Come to think of it, there really is a double meaning. It may refer to signs that we see in life, and signs that there is STILL life. That we are not merely existing,but living life! And hopefully, living it well!
So going back to the signs, signs that we see everyday. They may mean something to us. Whether we’re contemplating on leaving a job, starting a business,ending a relationship, or simply asking, “where do I go from here?” we have to look at the signs. Sometimes the sign may say, GO. Or even go, go, go! But sometimes, we also have to obey when the sign says,STOP. Or YIELD. Or DEAD END. Even if we try to close our eyes, and ignore the signs, things will start to happen that will push us to finally make a decision. A decision which is right for us.
I hope what I have shared with you now will hopefully,help you also with the issues you’re facing in your own lives. Good evening!
10 March 2005
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