Thursday, October 22, 2009

Toastmaster Speech No. 6: Women are wonderful

Women are wonderful
Toastmaster Speech No 6: Vocal Variety
by: Shel Roxas

A lot of men can’t understand how we think, how we come up with a decision but in the end we become victorious in what we do. Ever get exasperated with how women act? At the end of this speech, men would realize that it is not that hard to understand our gender at all. There’s also the thrill of knowing how women think and I hope you would be as excited as I am when I impart this knowledge to you. As for the women, I hope you can find some “aha” moments as I go along.

Woman are always managing to have some last minute things to do immediately prior boarding the car, like going to the toilet, talking with kids or giving instructions to household help. And then, Lavishly sprays perfume on herself inside an air-conditioned car making other passengers gasp desperately for air. Complaining at the same time that she has noting to wear and does not have enough closet space (I am guilty of this by the way).

Contrary to claim of radical feminists, there are basic differences between men and women. Since the release of the latest comedy 'The Ugly Truth' the male-female intimate relationship structures are again under observation. Even though it is a comedy revisiting the old and well-known cliche of male and female differences it still leaves couples and singles going home and re-thinking the gender differences.
Let's have a look at the truth behind some of the points mentioned in the movie:
It is known that 'men feel love when they are being intimate and women are ready to be intimate when they feel loved'. In a study of more than 100 couples this statement was agreed upon in 100% of the cases. One of the main points of challenges in the relationship between the genders is that both sides expect the other to play on their turf and speak their language.
Men are visual. It is proven that men are stimulated by visual input How else would the 'magazines such as FHM, Maxim, Uno make millions of pesos every year? This leads us into the area of exercise which was quoted in the movie: If you want a relationship, here is how you get one: It's called a Stairmaster (a stairmaster is an exercise equiptment for butt shaping exercises). It is a fact that men and women put more effort into exercise and being fit when summer is on our door step. So really, who are they shaping up for, themselves or the opposite sex? And yes, women also prefer a six pack to a beer belly... I bet men love the hourglass shape.
Men and women are equally looking for affirmation. Laughing at whatever the man says has more to do with being in rapport with each other than anything else Laughter is used as a signal for being part of a group, in this case the couple - it signals acceptance and positive interactions with others. Isn't that what we want with our mate?
Now it is a challenge to figure out what women mean, but it is not easy to understand why women do things they do. We talk so much? Why are we always shopping? Why we spend so much time and money in the beauty parlor? Or why we nag?

For men, talking is basically done in order to convey information. For women, it is different. Women would find it a waste of time if they were together and they did not talk all the time. Women talk in order to participate and build relationships. So the more she talks to you, the more she is showing that she likes you and that you find favor with her. So when she gives you a silent treatment, she dislikes you. So rejoice when you are getting an earful.

Women shop a lot. For men, they shop when they need something specific. And while they might compare items here and there, they would decide fairly quickly and make the purchase. Us women, we take our grand time comparing prices endlessly but may have no specific item in mind to purchase. We find it hard to resist bargains, and will buy a lot that we don’t need simply because it is on sale. But think about the benefit it will have to you when she gets home happy and then there’s peace at home. You might be able to get that date you’ve been asking for because she wants to show off her new dress. Ever wonder why I was able to collect 60 shoes (which went down to 6 after the typhoon Ondoy yet went up to 25 after 3 weeks)? Go figure.
Men get haircut because their hair is already long. Women go to the parlor to get their hair, nails, and toes done. But again what happens in the parlor is a therapy. That place is a totally different environment women are exposed to from day to day. For me, it removes stress. The latest Korean Drama story from my Korean pedicurist is a bonus for me specially I don’t have the time to watch this on TV.

As it is know that men and women are different. We will always see things differently. We have different needs. We love differently. There will often be tension and even resentment. Men do not have to resist or resent the difficulties brought by this differences but you can celebrate such differences.

Now let me give you my final advise by a way of a parable.

Young King Arthur was ambushed and imprisoned by the monarch of a neighboring kingdom. He was supposed to be killed but the monarch was astounded by his youth and ideals. Instead the monarch would grant him freedom if he can answer a very difficult question: What do women really want? He was given 1 year to answer it otherwise he will be killed. Arthur asked everyone in his kingdom but nobody can answer. Many people advise him to consult an old witch – only she knows the answer. Pressed for time and no alternative. Arthur sought for the witch. The witch asked Arthur for his friend’s hand in marriage, Gawain in exchange for the answer. Gawain has agreed to this arrangement as he value his friends life. The witch gave the answer and that is “What women really wants is to be in-chrage”. Fast forward to Arthur being freed and to Gawain’s wedding day. The witch showed her worst manner coupled with her hideous appearance. Who would want that for a wife? Til their wedding night. As Gawain entered the bedroom, he saw the a very beautiful lady. The lady told him that half of herself is a witch - her other half is a beauty. She gave the decision to Gawain, “Which would you like me to be in the morning, and which during the night? What a cruel question. During the day, a beautiful woman to show off to his friends, but at night, in the privacy of his own, an old witch? Or would he prefer a hideous witch at morning but by night a beautiful woman whom to enjoy intimate moments. If it were you what would you do?

Gawain replied that he would let her choose for herself (remember the witch’es answer to Young Arthur?) Upon hearing this, she announced that she will be beautiful all the time. Because he respect her enough to let her be in-chrage of her own life.

What is the moral of the story?

The moral is: if your woman doesn’t get her own way, things are going to get ugly. And that I leave you to discover and experience yourself throughout your lifetime.

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