Tuesday, May 26, 2009

Toastmasters Speech #3:
"Taming John Tucker"

By Russel Roxas, TM

“You don't drink an '82 Bordeaux just because it's sitting on your shelf. Great things take time.” A quote I never forget from the day I met John Tucker.

John Tucker is the star in the movie, John Tucker must die. Not the hot, godly Jesse MetCalfe but the character he portrayed in this movie that got me hooked with the name JOHN TUCKER. After watching that movie, I started recalling all the John Tuckers in my life. Yes, I’ve dealt with a lot of them; either as a partner, relative, friend, classmate and officemate. I’ve been a victim of a John Tucker, an accessory to John Tucker’s crime of cheating and I was a silent witness to his deeds. Overall, I ended getting hurt or allowing John Tucker to hurt other people. I hope there’s no John Tucker in this room. If there is, I’m pretty sure he’ll deny it. It’s just too bad that when I learned how to handle a John Tucker, it was already too late because I already became a victim… For the single ladies in this room, I hope that this will aid you in identifying the John Tuckers of your life and help you in managing them... that is, if you haven’t been a victim yet. For those already taken, you’ll probably reminisce with me as I go a long and might realize that you’ve also dated one before. As for the gentlemen of this room, esp. those who deny that they are a John Tucker… BEWARE!

John Tucker is a popular, sexy, talented and a complete player. In the movie, he dates three girls at once. In reality, a John Tucker would probably date more. The BIG adjective would be TOTAL MANIPULATOR… The cheater

Two-Timers (or can be three-timers or four, but let’s use two as a benchmark) love the ladies… in a good way. Their excuse is that if they didn't truly love all of the ladies with which they go out, they would never two-time, it's just too much stress for them.

There are different types of two-timers, or let say John Tuckers
The seasonal two-timer is one of the easiest ways to get into the two-timing groove. Seasonal two-timing simply means that you only have one real girlfriend, but the girlfriend depends on the season. For example, you are a college student whose home is in, let's say Cebu, and you're going to college in oh, let's say Dela Salle, Manila. So, growing up in Cebu, you have a girlfriend, whom you love, and you want to stay with in Cebu. However, Cebu is so far away that you get lonely without her. So, in Manila, you get yourself another girlfriend for the school year. It’s an easy way to go because the distance might be a cover for your afterschool affairs and you’ll most likely not be caught.

Then you have the casual two-timers. This is a risk-free way to go, but the consequences can be brutal. This method means that they two-time or even three-time but never officially commit to one of the girls.

Lastly, the maniac John Tucker. The Maniac is the guy who just loves girls so much that one, or two, or three isn't/aren’t enough. The Maniac just likes the ladies, as many as he can handle. The reason why they’re named as such is because there is so much stress associated with one chick that it is quite a task to have more than 2. So it’s either his a masochist or don’t value self-preservation at all.

But no matter what type of two-timer or John Tucker he is, note that he is not immune to being tamed by the ladies who have enough knowledge to handle them. So ladies, I am giving you the armor on how to protect yourself against the possible John Tuckers of your life.

Lesson no. 1: Never assume. Research. Often times the guy would look nice and single when he approaches you even when he is still asking for a date. Of course he has to be for you to fall to his trap. Luckily in this era of technological advancement where social networking and blogging is the way to go there are sites that can help you unravel the truth even for the unpopular ones. Try searching for his name in Friendster, Facebook, Multiply, etc. Often times he has an account even though he may not be the one to set it up… Maybe the legal “girlfriend” made your job easier by setting up the account herself. That’s why sometimes even John Tucker himself doesn’t even know that it exists. And even if he is the one who set-up the account, most likely the legal girlfriend would be able to open it to make sure that the status of the account is “in relationship”.

Lesson no. 2: Never give the guy an opportunity to use pet names for you. It might not be out of affection but so he won’t mixed up his girlfriends’ names. If he insists you call each other with endearments. Try to think of something unique that he will not be able to use with his other girlfriends. Don’t go for baby, honey, sweetheart try “pangga” or cupcake, or whatever. Be creative

Lesson No. 3: This may sound crazy, but this is extremely important. John Tucker’s might occasionally joke about two-timing. Joking about it will give him a feel of how mad the girl would be and how far out of the country he would need to run if, unfortunately she ever found that he’s two-timing. They also think that if they drop hints like that you will be less likely to suspect. Finally, if you find out, he can say that he tried to tell you (through his jokes), and it will almost be the truth.

Lesson No. 4: Never extract the truth from him. Even if you tell him nicely and say “it’s okay for him to tell you”, they know it’s just a trick. Never try to inspect his mobile phone; you’ll not get anything there because most likely he’ll have another unit either under his bed, in his locked closet and even in his office’s mobile cabinet. The more you obviously you extract information from him the more he’ll be careful.

Lastly, never go on a date in outrageous places. It’s crazy for you to go to SM Fairview just to watch a movie when you both live in Makati. Or go out-of-town every weekend which is just very tiring. Often times, he is trying to avoid common places where the other girl hangs out or her crowd.

There are more things that you can still do other than what I’ve mentioned to recognize and handle a John Tucker, I just identified a few. These tips may or may not work all the time but it’s better that you try them or at least arm yourself with these knowledge, We have heard time and again that a “good man” is hard to find. But it is also better if we can bring out the good side of a John Tucker, don’t you think. Going back to the movie, the lead actress Kate indeed made John Tucker fell in love with her at the end. This only means that people like John can also love and learn from his mistakes. That’s when you can say that you really tamed a John Tucker. In my case, I learned how to handle a John Tucker the hard way but it helped me a lot that I was also raised by a person who also used to be a John Tucker – My Dad. But that’s another story for another speech.

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