THE TOAST

By: Sheila dela Cruz

Good evening, everyone! I’d like to thank you for sharing this special occasion with us. In this day and age when everything is instant, marriages that last beyond 20 years are rare. What more, 40 years?! Truly, 40 years of wedded bliss is reason to celebrate.

More than a celebration of the number of years that my parents have been together, I want to celebrate the fact that theirs is a truly happy marriage.

THE ROAST

THE ROAST

By: Sheila dela Cruz

What can you say about a man who is admired, revered, and loved by everyone? I can start by saying he’s not the subject of my roasting tonight.

In the reality show, “Last Comic Standing”, they said that “You only roast the ones you love”. But in this case, the opposite is true. I'm particularly happy to be delivering this speech because I can now say in public all the things I've been saying behind his back.

It’s payback time, and the object of my wrath is none other than Enrique Salvador Eleazar San Agustin otherwise known as (to the audience) — SAY IT WITH ME-- Boom tarat tarat Boom tarat tarat = tararat tararat BOOM BOOM BOOM!

Mars' First Things

(by Sheila Dela Cruz-Mapanao, CC, CL)

I delivered this speech last July 9, 2009 at our Toastmasters meeting, as a tribute to Mars. This is speech #2 of the Advanced Communication Manual, on "Special Occasion Speeches".

I hope i was able to do justice to the man that Mars was.
Good evening, fellow Toastmasters and friends.

These past weeks while I was formulating this speech in my head, I was panicking. Not because I didn’t know what I wanted to say. But because I didn’t know what NOT to say! There are just so many things about Mars and his life, what I learned from him, and how he has affected me. I was overwhelmed!

So to put a semblance of order in this speech, let me focus on what I believed were the “first things” in Mars’ life.

In Stephen Covey’s “7 Habits of Highly Effective People”, Habit 3 is “Put first things First”, meaning “putting the most important things in your life, FIRST”. First things could be your goals or dreams, or the people you love.

As Johann Goethe said, “Things which matter most should never be at the mercy of things which matter least”.

And I believe Mars knew what the first things in his life were.

Top on his list, was his family. Mars lost his father at a young age. When his father died, he became the family’s breadwinner. And he did his job dutifully. He became a pillar of strength and support for his family. He provided for his mom and his siblings. He worked to support his youngest sister from the time she was in grade school, until she graduated with a Nursing degree and passed the board exams last December. And when she graduated, he told friends, “Pwede na kong mamatay.” (Finally I can die). Even then, he knew that since he already secured his youngest sister’s future, she would be able to take his place ad care of his mom and the rest of their family.

Mars role as a pillar of strength and dependability was not just contained within his family, but extended to another family, and that was Toastmasters, and specifically, Butter N Toast (BnT).

Mars’ commitment to BnT stemmed from his desire to learn. Personal improvement. Another one of Mars’ first things. Mars was the perfect example of someone who wanted to improve himself. He wanted to be better!

When we started out in Toastmasters, we were all pretty scared of coming up here in front. Especially during table topics! But no, not mars! He was always so brave! He’d volunteer, and yes, he’d fumble or mumble, BUT he kept at it and he got better! And I admired that in him. Me, who’s such a scare-dy cat when it comes to Table Topics. And he knew it!

He also knew that I dreaded to club-hop coz I hated being the odd one out. So what did Mars do? Whenever he got invited to a different club, he’d drag me to come with him. And he was a willing companion when I got invited to other TM clubs as well, egging me on to accept invites. Such that we became more like a package deal. Invite one TM, get another for free! :)

He generally pushed and pulled me out of my comfort zone and conveniently served as my net. My safety blanket.

I also loved to tease him by the monicker Table Topics Monster because whenever he was tasked to handle Table Topics, he chose particularly challenging topics. But he had a special reward, a token, which he gave to the brave participants to encourage them.

And let us not forget that Mars was the first-ever from our Club to take on the role of Area 16 governor. He made it look sooo easy, that he convinced some others from this club, to be Area governor as well! :)

From Mars’ life, another of his first things was Relationships. Mars had loads of friends both in and out of BnT. Friends from college, and even all the way from grade school, who have stuck with him and who consider him a VERY GOOD friend. And I, together with the Toasties, know what they mean.

Most Toasties know Mars and his quick-wit.
His loud, boisterous laugh.
His zeal and energy for fun.

But maybe not everyone knows his thoughtfulness and generosity. I remember when he retired from Pru Life, he treated at least 10 of his closest TM friends to a sumptuous dinner buffet at Masas. And how when one of us was celebrating a birthday, he’d treat that person to Starbucks.

Yes, he was thoughtful and generous, giving of his time and his presence. That, and above all, Mars was a loyal, and trustworthy friend.

Text mate. Erstwhile shopping and movie-watching companion. Toastmasters Club-hopping buddy. Confidante. True and good friend. Mars was all these to me.

I was scrolling through my cellphone’s phonebook recently and felt a tinge of sadness when I saw Mars’ name in my phonebook. And knowing that I won’t be receiving any funny, text messages or calls from him just to ask me how I was. I couldn’t for the life of me, delete his name from my phone book.

Any significant event now, any small thing, reminds me of mars. Michael Jackson dead at 50? Oh, mars was only 42 when he died. Gege and I were eating at Bagoong Club (where BnNT had its xmas party), and our server’s name happened to be mars. We looked at each other, and at the same time, said “awww, mars”…

You can say I haven’t had enough of Mars. Most people who know Mars feel the same way. Clichéd as it may sound, Mars has left his mark on us, here in our hearts. I keep telling myself that he’s in a better place now, free from pain, sickness, and problems. But when I think about him now, it is still with sadness because I miss him.

He was a good person. A good man. And he will be sorely missed.

Mars was a dutiful and supportive son and brother --which meant he valued family.

He was a good and true friend -- which meant he valued relationships.

He was serious about teaching and about learning -- which meant he valued personal improvement.

Family. Relationships. Personal improvement. Mars was clear on his first things. He knew what was important to him, and his actions reflected that.

I leave you now with these questions. What are the first things in your life? Do your actions reflect the importance of these first things? Mars’ death has made me think and reflect on these.

Mars was clear on his first things. Are you?

Heroes in our midst

by Sheila dela Cruz

Speech # 10
Speech to Inspire

Good evening, ladies and gentlemen!

When you think about heroes, what immediately comes to mind? The comic-book heroes we all grew up watching? You know who I’m talking about… popular fictional superheroes like Batman and Superman, or the very pretty Wonder Woman?

Or maybe Philippine heroes, like Jose Rizal, or Andres Bonifacio, who fought and died for our country?

Well, I had a different set of heroes in mind. Aside from those comic-book heroes and Philippine heroes, there are other less-known, but true-to-life heroes in our midst. You may think that heroes are few. Why? Because in this day and age it’s very rare that we hear about heroes. But I think heroes ARE everywhere! Do you agree? Good for you! You don’t?! Well, hopefully after hearing me out, you’ll agree as well.

Let me tell you why I believe heroes are everywhere.

One such hero I recently heard about is Wesley Autrey. You probably heard about him as well. Last January 2, 2007, Wesley Autrey was at the NYC subway station with his two young daughters, waiting for the train to arrive. When one of the people at the platform, a student named Cameron Hollopeter, suddenly suffered a seizure, and fell onto the tracks. Imagine this… There was an oncoming train, and Wesley, a mere mortal and not blessed with superhuman strength, jumped onto the subway tracks, threw himself over Cameron’s body in a drainage trench between the tracks, and held him down (as he was still having a seizure). Two train cars passed over them, inches from their bodies, and close enough to leave grease on Wesley’s wool cap. WOW!For his heroic act, Wesley Autrey has been hailed by the media as the "Subway Superman" and "The Hero of Harlem". And I agree! For what else can you call a person who risks his life to help a stranger?

Reading about Wesley, I was reminded of 2 Filipino youngsters, heroes in their own right, Aris Espinosa and Rona Mahilum.

Aris was a 13-year-old boy from Lanao del Norte. On January 30, 1994, a grenade on the ground was about to explode near some children. Aris quickly jumped and covered the grenade with his own body. The children were saved, thanks to the sacrifice of Aris!

In May 1996, Rona Mahilum, then only 8 years old, suffered third-degree burns when a fire broke out inside their house. Despite the pain, she rescued her five brothers and sisters, then tried to put out the fire with water from the nearby well. Amazing!

Let these people inspire us to be heroes ourselves. There’s a saying from Shakespeare’s Twelfth Night – “Be not afraid of greatness. Some are born great, some achieve greatness, and some have greatness thrust upon them.”

In the case of these 3 modern-day heroes, greatness was thrust upon them. Tragedies, actually, but which they used as opportunities to do great things. One was a fire, a grenade about to explode, and an oncoming train…Not all of us, hopefully, will face the same situation. But I believe that all of us are given opportunities, although small, to do great things, and to be heroes ourselves.

It was Mother Teresa who said, “Few of us can do great things, but all of us can do small things with great love…”

In the same way, when Wesley was asked to explain his actions, he replied, “it's just being able to be here and help the next person.”To be here and help the next person… following that line of thinking, we can all be heroes. We, too, can achieve greatness. It’s so simple! In our own small way, by just being able to help another person, we too, can be heroes…

You know, one of the few parts of the nightly news that I eagerly wait for, is the “Good News”. It usually tells of ordinary employees or taxi drivers, finding wallets full of cash, then returning it to the rightful owners. Don’t you find that heroic? Imagine, these people who are in badly in need of money themselves, to go to the trouble of finding the owners and rightfully turning over the money that they found! I think that’s heroic!

A story that hits closer to home… I know of a family based in Negros. A simple family. The mom, a nurse with the local government, the Dad a retired employee. With 7 kids of their own, this couple still managed to adopt five (5) kids to care for and feed as their own. Why? Because they couldn’t accept that these kids would suffer from hunger. They wanted to ensure that these kids would grow up, live happy, normal lives, and hopefully, nurture others as they have been nurtured.Heroic? I think so.

Heroes ARE everywhere. This room, I believe, is already full of heroes… Like my friend who helps pay for the meds of Pauline, a young girl stricken with cancer. My other friend, who supports a local charity which helps send youngsters to school.My parents, while we were growing up, taught us to be generous. And they practiced what they preached. They supported local charities (which we continue to do now) such as Goodwill, Unicef, Comboni Missionaries, and World Vision. Now that they’re in the US, they support such worthy causes as the Sixty-Five Roses (Cystic Fibrosis Foundation), PVA (Paralyzed Veterans of America), Easter Seals, etc. They also still continue to send money to their friends here in the Philippines, the messengers and janitors who lovingly call them “Daddy Eli and Mommy Vener”. I remember my Mom and Dad always telling us to give to those who cannot afford to pay them back for their gifts. For them, helping others was a personal undertaking for which they were rewarded by a special inner peace and satisfaction.

The world NEEDS more heroes. And all of us here, CAN be heroes! Our purpose should be to enrich the amount of goodness in the world, by doing good deeds, performing acts of kindness, and taking care of others. May we all strive to be heroes. It’s so simple! All it takes is to make a difference in at least one person’s life! And I believe a true hero is not measured by his strength, but by the strength of his heart.In closing, let me repeat what Mother Teresa said, “Few of us can do great things, but all of us can do small things with great love…”

Good evening.

Aftermath of the Storm

by Sheila dela Cruz


Do you remember this? (Show pics …)

These pictures were taken two weeks ago when typhoon "Milenyo" (international name: “Xangsane”) hit the Philippines.
Milenyo shuts down Metro
Typhoon batters Metro Manila, Bicol
Strongest typhoon in 11 years
3 more weeks before full power

Stories, and more sad stories... :( I’m sure everyone here has heard or read of some sad stories related to the storm, but you know, the stories hit closer to home when it affects people we know.

Two friends of mine are originally from Bicol, and they still have family there. Of one friend, part of their roof covering their living room, was blown off during the height of the storm. The other friend? The only thing left of their home after the storm, was the floor! His mom, is still probably reeling, and crying her eyes out from losing their ancestral home. And understandably so.

Our laundry lady also had a sad story to tell. She tearfully related to me that her family doesn’t have a home anymore, as it was blown away by the typhoon. Right now, she and her 3 kids are living in the garage of another home, and saving up money to buy materials to build a new home.

While all this was playing out in the real world, I was in bed reading a book. My kids were downstairs playing board games, and when electricity went out, and the wind was howling so eerily and loudly, I decided to go downstairs and cuddle (take note, cuddle and NOT huddle) with my kids. It was like a vacation for us! Not having a radio, we knew little of the havoc typhoon "Milenyo" was unleashing that very moment. It was only much later, while watching the nightly news did we see the damage wrought on so many areas, that we truly realized how lucky we were.

We heard stories about people whose homes were damaged, people getting hurt, but what hurt most to hear, were how people died, or LOST their homes or loved ones.

If anything, what did this storm teach us?

First, it taught us that DISASTERS happen… Whether you live in the posh villages of Makati, or in the shanties around Metro Manila, disasters do happen, and CAN affect each one of us.

Second, it taught us that it pays to prepare. The time to fix that leaky roof was not during the storm but before the storm! You don’t go to the grocery to buy candles or flashlights during the blackout, do you?

Then lastly, it taught us that we need to move on after we are hit, no matter what the damage, because as they say, LIFE GOES ON.

And speaking of LIFE, natural disasters are not the only STORMS that we need to weather in life! Because aside from disasters wrought by nature, there are disasters wrought by emotional trials, such as illness, accident, loss.

All of which are results of living in an imperfect, broken world. Sooner or later, illness, accidents OR loss eventually touch our lives. These are the STORMS that we can NEVER really prepare for.

So what do we do when faced with emotional trials or storms? Personally, I feel that it is important to remember 3 things.

FIRST - When disaster knocks at your door, vent your grief. Man, woman, child, we all should let go of the thinking that crying is a sign of weakness. It is no secret that men compared to women, are prone to bottle feelings up and refuse to cry even when faced with the worst of situations. BUT tears wash the bitterness from within. They purge deep feelings of resentment from the walls of our hearts. So, yes, it is okay to cry.

SECOND - Refuse to be bitter. Stand up, brush the negativity off, pick up the pieces, and move on… I know that’s easier said than done. But remember the saying, whatever doesn’t kill us, will only make us stronger.

THIRD - Rely upon the Lord to be your strength. Nahum Chapter 1, Verse 7 states, “The LORD is good, a refuge in times of trouble. He cares for those who trust in him”. Another one of my favorite quotes is, “If GOD brings us to it, HE will bring us through it”. Truly, FAITH and prayer helps.

There's probably nothing that will prepare us for personal tragedies. But know and accept that these emotional storms caused by failures OR loss, can happen to anyone, at any time. We need to be strong enough to withstand them not just for ourselves, but for the sake of other people who care for us, and who rely on us. Knowing that should give us the necessary foundation to withstand ANY storm – whether brought on my nature, or by personal tragedy.

Remember, how we handle ourselves in the worst of situations will determine if the lives we lead is one of bitterness, or acceptance.

Good evening.

Island of my dreams by TM Sheila dela Cruz

Imagine this… clear and cool, blue waves gently lapping on powdery white sand. The warm sun peering through near cloudless skies. The perfect picture of calm. And you, standing waist deep in the ocean, and being able to see not just your feet, but fishes of all different colors glistening in the sun!

I used to think this was the stuff of fairy tales and dreams… but for 4 glorious days and nights last March, I actually lived my dream! And I still have the tan to prove it! ;-> The dream island actually exists, and lucky for us Filipinos, it is right here on our shores. What dream island am I talking about? Nothing else, but the world-famous Boracay island.

This is the place which elicited not just ooohhhs and aaahhhs from my kids! Imagine, not once did I hear them say, “Mommy, I’m bored”.. but instead I heard them say: “This is great!” OR “Mommy! This is awesome” And last but certainly not the least, “Mommy, can we live here in Boracay?” Hahaha! My kids had so much fun in Boracay that they didn’t want to leave. And I can’t say I can blame them coz I wanted to stay there myself!

Tonight I want to share with you some info about this tropical paradise, where it is, how to get there, and what to do once you’re there! Basically, a guide for all first-time visitors to Boracay…

Where IS Boracay? Boracay is a dumbbell-shaped 7-kilometer speck off the northwest corner of Panay Island, in the Visayas island group of Central Philippines. The famous White Beach is its central destination, stretching for 3.5 kilometers on the west side of the “handle” of the dumbbell. A dazzling expanse of “talcum-fine” white sand, it is considered by travel connoisseurs as the world’s best tropical beach.

Central Boracay is informally divided into three sections around the three drop-off points along White Beach. These are known as Boat Stations 1, 2 & 3.

How to get there? For us Manila-based mortals, we actually have 2 options… to go by air and fly direct to Caticlan, or via Kalibo. If you take Kalibo, it’s just an hour and a half trip via bus to Caticlan, then a short ferry ride to the white sand beaches of Boracay. 2^nd option is via the land/sea route and get to boracay using the RORO (fyi, RORO means roll-on, roll-off). Of course, if money is not an issue, then I suggest you fly direct to Caticlan, and be in Boracay in less than an hour! From Caticlan, you disembark at the Boat Station nearest your resort.

Boracay is both the tropical dream, and party animal’s paradise…So before you go there, decide if you want to commune with nature, or party! The hippest, party-est places are in Boat Stations 1 and 2, while Station 3 is relatively quieter.

Boracay is commercialized, and really a “tourist” spot. Where else can you find children going around the beach offering their service of braiding your hair in corn rows for 300 pesos! Where else can you be snorkelling in the middle of the ocean, and find vendors in hawking ice cream and fresh buco juice! :D But as commercialized as it is, Boracay’s natural beauty still shines through.

All throughout the year, there are loads of people at White Beach, so if you’re like me who prefers the quiet, deserted-island feel, then head to Puka Beach, where there are no crowds, the beach is cleaner, the sand just as white, but with corals and tiny, pretty rocks at your feet. You can also go up Mt. Luho, the island’s highest peak, to enjoy the beautiful view.

What else is there to do in Boracay? Go island hopping. Famous tourist spots are Crystal Cove Island where the adventure is to go down into the different crystal caves and splash in the cold, cold waters inside the caves. There’s also Crocodile Island, aptly named such, as the shape of the island from afar is in the shape of the crocodile. This is where a lot of tourists go snorkelling, and try to find nemo. Or as in the case of my kids, to feed different-colored fishes with bread right from their hands, and wherein they saw starfish the color of deep blue.

Try everything Boracay has to offer, whether it be scuba-diving, snorkelling, para-sailing, or riding a glass bottom boat, or a banana boat…

Really, there are so many things to do and see in Boracay. Still so many tips but not much time to say it! So let me leave you with the most important tip. And that is to befriend the locals! You get the best deals, the best service, plus, they’ll tell you the best places to go!

And before I end, remember, what should be every traveler’s credo:

Take Nothing but Pictures.
Leave nothing but footprints.
Kill nothing but time.

Good evening…

(delivered May 10, 2006)

“Ay, ay, ay, Inday” by TM Sheila dela Cruz

Last night, for my speech #6 which is on "Vocal Variety", I delivered the following speech. 6 down, 4 more to go! :)

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“Ay, ay, ay, Inday”

How many of you here have household help? Yes, mere mortals such as ourselves, but who we depend on to take care of our children, keep house for us, do the laundry, etc… basically, manage our home!

Growing up, my family wasn’t rich, but I hardly remember a time when we didn’t have any household help since both my parents worked full-time. Here in the Philippines, you don’t have to be rich to have a maid, even two!

So after countless years of having maids, and swapping stories with friends, I’ve actually collected so many stories about MAIDS, or the “Indays” in our lives... Come to think of it, I think an appropriate subtitle for this piece would be, “The Clue-less, the help-less and the dumb and the witless”.

The Clue-less… Maybe because their unschooled or simply were not properly trained, these maids made these mistakes. Please allow me to speak in Filipino in some instances so that you’ll better appreciate the impact of the message.

Incident #1 involves Ben and their maid…
B: Inday, paki-kuha mo nga sa ref yung ponkan
I: Opo, koya… Koya, wala pong ponkan sa rep…
B: Andun sa loob ng ref. sa may crisper…
I: Okay… (later) koya, wala po talagang ponkan sa rep…
B: Andun sabi sa ref, hanapin mo!
After the third failed attempt to locate it, Inday comes back and asks, "Koya, ano po ba ang ponkan?"

Ay, ay, ay, Inday…

Incident #2…
An American calls looking for my friend Ben.
A: Hello. I’d like to speak to Ben please
I: Wala po sha dito
A: I’m sorry, I’m afraid I can’t understand you. Can you please speak in English?
I: Helloh po, Sowri poh, wahlah poh shyah dhitoh (mimicking the American ‘twang’)

The second, the Help-less. These are the maids who would not just budge! They are not what you would call household help, since they’re hardly any help at all! They would be better off to be called as “utusan” or people who would only move when given orders! They don’t have any initiative. Take for instance, this maid we had before. While the family just finished eating dinner, there are other chores to be done around the house.. Inday is happily lounging on the sofa, with her feet on top of the coffee table, watching tv, and smoking! This prompted my younger brother to sarcastically ask, “Inday, gusto mo ng juice? Ipagtimpla kita!” (Inday, would you like some juice? I’ll make some for you!)

The dumb and the wit-less. This may seem pretty harsh, but listen to these stories, and decide for yourself.
Incident #1
After orienting our new maid on the use of the gas oven, washing machine, etc. I’m sitting quietly at home when I smell the distinct odor of gas. I go to the kitchen, and yes, as I assumed, the gas valve for one of the burners was on, but no flame. So I immediately turn it off, open all the windows, etc. And then I talk to Inday.
M: Inday, bakit iniwan mong bukas ang stove? Di ba sinabi ko naman sayo i-off mo yan?!
I: Ate, in-off ko naman po ah…
M: Wag ka nang mag-rason, kitang-kita kong naka-on yan kanina noh!
I: Ate, in-off ko talaga. Hinipan ko pa nga yung apoy eh!

Ay, ay, ay, Inday!!! GRRRRR…

Incident #2
My boss and his wife come home one Sunday from the wet market. They bring home a live chicken, and they ask their new maid, Inday, to “dress” the chicken, meaning pluck out all its feathers, clean it, then put it inside the ref. Hours later, upon opening the ref, there inside is the poor chicken, feathers all gone, but clucking and shaking. Yes, the POOR chicken was still alive, when Inday brutally plucked out its feathers one by one… I can imagine the chicken, thinking to itself, “Kill me now! Why are you torturing me?!”

Tsk, tsk, tsk… ay, ay, ay, Inday…

From these stories, it’s easy to easy how our instructions can be misinterpreted. Or really how narrow their thinking and understanding can sometimes be. So one thing to remember when dealing with our maids, is that we have to be VERY patient. As my dad always reminds me, our household help are unschooled, and thus, you have to know how to talk to them and deal with them at their level. If they were schooled, do you think they’d agree to be maids/yayas in the first place? No! Of course not! So knowing that they have “limitations” it’s up to us to relate to them at their level and make sure that we are understood.

Hay! With my kids’ new yaya, who has been with us all of 7 months and counting, she has had lapses as well. But these are things I can easily overlook especially since I see how attentive she is to my kids. Hopefully, I have finally found “the ONE” and that this ends my collecting stories on the “chronicles of….” Or the “adventures and misadventures of Inday”…

Good evening.

Gems - Icebreaker Speech of TM RJ Laguardia

Good evening. My name is Romeo Laguardia, Jr., but you can call me RJ. It’s shorter and much less romantic. I am now at the ripe old age of 22, and, in a few days, I will be celebrating my 6th month in my first job, and I am fortunate to have Pilipinas Shell as my first employer. I love useless information, or trivia, so tonight, aside from introducing myself, I would like to share something about a gemstone I find fascinating, the diamond. By “diamond,” of course, I mean the mineral, because the word is also street slang for homosexual and Viagra, the former I most certainly am not, and the latter, I don’t need. Diamonds are precious objects. Diamonds are girls’ best friends, so imagine the skyrocketing pogi points just one stone could give to a guy. And yet, at the very heart of it, these things are nothing more than ordinary rocks that were subjected to a tremendous amount of heat and pressure, and withstood this torture, to become the glorious stuff that many dreams are made of. The diamond’s secret is that it contains graphite, the very same stuff that’s in lead pencils. Think about it. Something as fragile as a pencil can become something as enduring as a diamond. For us humans, the very same scenario is possible. I myself can say that in many ways, I am like a diamond, well, sort of. Allow me to explain.

Number one, diamonds reflect light, and so, can be as bright as stars. Well, I’m no star myself, but I am related to a real movie star. Born and raised in the City of Smiles, Bacolod City, I have honest-to-goodness genuine movie star blood running through my veins, courtesy of Mr. Joel Torre, who is my mom’s cousin. This also means I have the sickeningly affectionate Ilonggo blood coursing through those same veins, too. Not only that, My Dad’s claim to fame was that he once played for the NBA – the Negros Basketball Association, that is.

Number two, there are many facets or aspects to each diamond. There are also many aspects to my personality. I delight in variety, and this is reflected in my eclectic range of interests, particularly when it comes to music and literature. I literally devour books when I come across something interesting, sometimes foregoing sleep just because I can’t put the book down. Which reminds me, there is a sale ongoing at Fully Booked, and I can’t wait to get my butt over there.

Number three, diamonds are the strongest terrestrial minerals. Because I am seen as somebody tough and sometimes intimidating, I am like a diamond too, in that regard. But the strongest feature I have that enables me to transcend my frailty, in the same way that ordinary pencil lead becomes a sterling diamond, is not something physical. In fact, aside from my education, it is my parents’ greatest legacy to me: my faith. Some of you may shirk at this answer, but I truly believe that this gift is the glue that holds all of me together. It encourages me to make the most out of my life, to remain steadfast in my convictions, and to keep my feet firmly planted on the ground. It reminds me that despite all the evil in this world, there is still plenty of good left in humanity. I said earlier that diamonds are precious objects, but to me, they are certainly no match for the gem that is faith.

Flowers for the Soul by TM Sheila Dela Cruz

When was the last time you received flowers? Maybe it was your birthday, or during your anniversary, or when you were sick and you got a ‘get well soon” bouquet, or “just because”! Or maybe you even got a bouquet last Valentine’s Day! Florists sure made a killing last V-day!

The guys probably couldn’t relate since I would think it’s rare for a guy to receive flowers. So as a message to the women here – maybe you should consider giving flowers to the men in your lives- your Dad, spouse, boyfriend… you know, just so they can relate! And maybe this will motivate them to give you flowers more often as well…(wink)

I HAVE always enjoyed receiving flowers. What woman doesn’t? Even if it’s from someone I like “just a little”… I still get kinda flustered, and flattered, and have this warm, fuzzy feeling inside. Admit it! Who here doesn’t want to receive a big bunch of beautiful, long stemmed, fragrant, flowers?! It doesn’t really matter what type of flowers, but between us girls, roses and tulips are the best.

And then I started thinking “WHY”? Why do I enjoy receiving flowers? I realized, it’s not the act of receiving flowers I enjoy, but the feeling I get whenever I receive flowers. Other females canrelate to the giddy, warm, fuzzy feeling you get whenever you receive flowers whether it’s a single stem or a whole bunch.

Since I love feeling this way, I began to think, what can I do so that I can feel this way anytime I want? Come to think of it, why should I wait for someone to give ME flowers, when I can plant my own garden?

So what did I come up with? What are things that I do, that gives me the same feeling, as if I received a big bouquet of wonderful, aromatic, flowers? For me, there are three things …

The first one is to SHARE
Share your blessings, your time, your money… Like in our case, our high school class is celebrating our “eherm” reunion next year so as early as now, we’ve thought of starting a fund-raising project to benefit the indigent students enrolled in our beloved alma mater… PUPLHS. This early, we’re collecting pledges, and have started planning how we want to share our blessings with our school and its current student.

To share doesn’t have to be something so GRAND, as long as you’re sharing or giving from your heart. Let me cite another example. A friend of mine, Arnie, will celebrate her birthday soon. In the past, she lamented that she would spend thousands of pesos to treat her friends to a dance club, and get drunk! But this year, she wanted to do something different, and meaningful. And what did she come up with? Slippers! Yes, something so mundane and simple, BUT she’s giving these away to a depressed community near where she lives. She came up with this idea because each time she passes this area, she sees these little kids 3 or 4 years old, running in the streets, without slippers. And her heart went out to them. So instead of spending her money on a grand party, she bought slippers, all shapes and sizes, and got her friends involved as well by asking for pledges. So instead of giving her gifts, her friends were asked to give new slippers to be given away. Isn’t that so nice? I’m sure the feeling she gets when she gives away those slippers, will be like receiving a whole, big bunch of her favourite flowers! And that will surely make up hundredfold for her not having a party.

The second…is to CARE
To care means to look after, mind, minister, mother, nurse, nurture, protect, provide for… And do this for someone (or some thing) outside of ourselves. Of course we all care about our family and loved ones. And we’re there for them. Like for a friend who’s down in the dumps, why not treat her to coffee and lend her a shoulder to cry on, or an ear to listen. What else can we do? We can adopt a pet, or buy a plant! When you see how your pet dog values you, how your pet is so happy to see you when you get home, doesn’t THAT feel good? Or when a plant blossoms and blooms under your care, that also feels good! RIGHT?

The last and certainly not the least, is to DARE

DARE? Dare what? Dare to do something different.. something that you’ve always thought of doing but never really got a chance to do! I remember back in high school, I didn’t dabble in any kind of sports because I was afraid to get hurt! If there’s something I mastered then, it was the art of running.. running away from the basketball, or the volleyball. So you can imagine, when my friend invited me to join her for kickboxing, I was like, “NO WAY” ?!?!?BUT when I finally got around to trying it, doing those jab-straight punches, and roundhouse kicks, I was HOOKED! Who would have thought?! Daring to do something different doesn’t have to be something extra-ordinary! Like you don’t have to go bungee-jumping (unless you really want to! ;-> ) or dabble in extreme sports! It can be doing something simple, like driving to work using a different route. Or maybe instead of ordering your usual green tea frapuccino, order instead that double shot espresso machiatto with raspberry syrup!

So to recap, there are three things that I can do to get this wonderful feeling I so enjoy. And you can do these too! That is, to SHARE, to CARE and to DARE. To do all these is always in season. Think of it, whenever you need a “pick me up” there’s no need to wait for someone to give you flowers, when you can plant and cultivate your own garden. :) Good evening!

08 March 2006

("Gardening 101" renamed "Flowers for the Soul")

Embracing my Dragons by TM Sheila Mapanao

FEAR! Such a strong word that it instantly conjures up images of ghosts, goblins, monsters and dragons! But of course the reality is that these things don’t exist! Or do they?

We each have our own dragons, or things we fear. If I ask you right now what you fear the most, I’m sure each of us has at least ONE thing we’re most afraid of. What is it? Bugs, snakes and creepy, crawling insects? Cats? The fear of dying? Of growing old?

My fears? Years ago, I was in a very bad relationship. How bad, you ask? Have you ever woken up one night, not being able to breathe, because someone was strangling you? Have you ever experienced a loaded gun being pointed at your head? Or being held by your shirt, dragged from one room to another? Have you ever seen your kids cowering in fear in a corner of the room while your partner shouts at you and belittles you? It’s true, I experienced those things as I was in an abusive relationship. I was emotionally and physically abused. The things I was going through that time, I wouldn’t even wish on my worst enemy. So you can imagine what sort of fears I was faced with. I was afraid of dying… I was afraid of leaving my 2 kids… but surprisingly, one of my biggest fears then was that I was afraid people would find out that my life wasn’t perfect.

I grew up in a happy home. I felt loved and I had no worries. So I went into marriage thinking that it would be as happy as the home I grew up in. But sadly, that was not true. When things started becoming ugly, I was masquerading, and I was pretty good at it! With my co-workers, friends, and family as well, I was good at hiding… hiding the tears and the bruises. Looking back now, I can only shake my head, “What WAS I thinking?” But I guess I still held hope that things would change, because another fear was that I didn’t want my kids to have the stigma of growing up in a broken home. So what changed my view? It came to the point when I said “enough is enough”. And when I realized that my prayers had changed. From “Lord, please give me the strength to overcome these trials”… to ”Lord, PLEASE don’t give me strength or else I might just kill him with my own bare hands!” or “Lord, please kunin mo na sha!” True!

The fear of people finding out my life wasn’t perfect, and judging me as failure…My fear for my kids growing up in a broken home…
The fear of being a single mom… these fears were all still there but these fears, these DRAGONS, I gladly embraced, when I bundled up my kids, and together, we left their father 3 years ago, in April 2002. Then, I didn’t know what the future held for me, but with faith in GOD and knowing my family’s love for me, I knew things would be a lot better for me and my kids.

Which is why I can SOOO relate to this story I read, about shaolin monks. At the time of a shaolin monk’s final martial arts test, an urn embossed with a dragon is placed on a fire, and the monk embraces the hot metal, scarring his flesh with the image of the dragon. It is believed that to embrace the dragon is to befriend your fears, your obstacles and make them your strengths.

I embraced my dragons years ago, and I still do. The dragons I’ve embraced recently -- I’m afraid of getting hurt and overpowered. So what did I do? I took up kickboxing!

I’d love to be a trainor and public speaker, but I’m afraid I’ll fail, so what did I do? I joined Toastmasters!

Tonight I embraced another dragon. I’m standing up here in front of you now, baring my soul.

Friends, I encourage all of you to look deep inside you. What dragons are you facing now? Think about it. Face your fears, embrace your dragons, and you’ll overcome your obstacles. Good evening, everyone.

26 October 2005

Movie Madness - Sept 14 Minutes by TM Sheila Mapanao

September 14 meeting
Hosted by Team II (sheila's group)

Attendees:
1. Jennie Tio
2. Jazz Encarnacion
3. Maureen de jesus
4. Alvin Tan
5. Gege Sugue
6. Sheila dela Cruz
7. Mars Sy
8. Rael Ortiz
9. Pat Pascua
10. Bryan Acosta

Guest:
Area Governor CTM Benjie Los Baños

It was raining heavily last September 14, which explains the low-turnout of people for the meeting, but as they say in show business, “The show must go on!” Which was most apt, considering that the theme for the night was “Movie Madness”.TM of the PM was yours truly. Meeting started a tad late, around 7:30 p.m., but that was forgivable considering the bad weather. Dinner was sponsored byTM Rael Ortiz as part of his birthday celebration, and co-sponsored by TM Mars Sy. Just because… Table topics master was TM Mars Sy, who proved to all and sundry that I am his favorite toastmaster. I was called (more like ‘coerced’), to handle the topic re:the new Wonder Woman movie and who should play the role. (Between you and me, I said ME. Hehehe…:D) CTM Benjie Los Baños took the topic “Pirated copy of a movie has made movie-watching truly affordable”. CTM/CL Pat Pascua took the topic “Which of the following contributed to the decline of the Phil movie industry? Budget concerns? Heavy taxation? Lack of creativity?” The rest of the table topics were ably handled by ATM-G Jennie Tio as she wanted to practice some more for the Division Quartethlon. Other club contestants, beware! Hehehe… :D Due to the heavy rains, 2 of our speakers‘rainchecked’, pun intended. Our only prepared speech was from TM Maureen de Jesus. We picked up a lot of quotable quotes from her icebreaker speech entitled,“Things I learned about myself late last night”. One such gem was her use of the term “constructive discontent” and her quoting Seth Grodin, “If you can’t state your position in 8 words or less, then you don’t have a position”. Just listening to Mau’s speech made our walk through the rain worth it, and look forward to hearing her do speech #2 in the very near future. Heading the evaluation team were none other than our 2 club mentors! GE was CTM/CL Pat Pascua, while TableTopics evaluator was ATM-S Jazz Encarnacion. We are truly lucky to have these 2 seasoned TMs in our club and we made full use of their talents, and picked up alot of new learnings from their evaluations.Grammarian was another favorite, Gege Sugue. Ah counter was Alvin Tan, and Timekeeper was BryanAcosta. WE will be hearing from Bryan in our next meeting, since he promised to do speech #2. Way to go,Bryan!The meeting ended WAY beyond the schedule (past 10p.m., would you believe?!?) but, come to think of it,that was actually expected, because if you look at your copy of the programme for that meeting, the time for adjournment was left blank. Hehehe… sneaky! ;-> Definitely, EVERY ButternToast meeting is time well spent and even if it was not a full house that night,it was truly another meeting to remember.

Goodbyes August 17 Minutes by TM Sheila Mapanao

The meeting was called to order by ATM-S Michelle Lim. Invocation and Toastmasters’ Promise was led by ourSgt. at Arms, TM Rael Ortiz. Word of the day was assigned to yours truly (again at the last minute, may I add! Hey, but I’m not complaining… grumble, grumble…;->). Word of the day was “RELINQUISH” in line withour theme for the night, which was “Goodbyes”. Why such a sad theme? It was a theme suggested by ourPresident Michelle Lim since this will be the last meeting she’ll be able to attend since she’s flying off the US and will be in absentia for a good three(3) months. Well, during the meeting it was proven more than once that goodbyes are not necessarily a sad event. But in this case, we’ll miss Michelle. Sob sob…:(TM of the PM was our VP for Education Ed Ebreo who asked all the members and guests to relate the theme goodbye into their introduction. As expected, the introductions were like mini-table topic sessions with most (if not all) introducing themselves quite lengthily. But hey, what can I say? In this club, EVERYBODY likes to talk, and that includes first-time guests! :DTable Topics Master was TM Erik Gonzales, and he gave such thought-provoking topics as Saddest Goodbye,Weirdest Goodbye, and the like… One time, we’d be on the verge of tears, then suddenly be giggling! We had as participants to the Table Topics Session, MichelleLim, Gege Sugue, and if memory serves me right, Area Governor Benjie Los Baños. (Which got me thinking,hasn’t Benjie gone over the 4 meetings limit and should now sign up as a member of ButternToast?! Somebody give him an application form! Hehehe… Still one member short of the Smedley Award is making us desperate! :D ) Seriously, SIR Benjie is ALWAYS welcome as a guest to our meetings since we’ve proven it more than once that he’s open to being an evaluator as well, no matter if it’s such short notice. :)

Attendees for the meeting were the following:
1. Michelle Lim
2. Ed Ebreo
3. Gege Sugue
4. Erik Gonzales
5. Alvin Tan
6. Sheila dela Cruz
7. Mars Sy
8. Bryan Acosta
9. Rael Ortiz
10. Jennie Tio
11. Lory Grace Sacol
12. Khai Lim

Guests:
1. Richard Behag – invited by Jennie Tio
2. Carl Posadas – invited by Jennie Tio
3. Gilbert Espiritu - invited by Sheila dela Cruz Returning

Guests (and new members):
1. Emma Desano - invited by Ed Ebreo
2. Lyka Ambrosio - invited by Ed Ebreo

We had 4 prepared speeches for the night and they were the following:TM Mars Sy doing his Speech #2, entitled “Acceptance”,and was evaluated by ahem… me. I have since Mar sprogress from the very first meetings of the then-uncharted BnT, and Mars has really come a longway. I certainly am looking forward to hearing more ofMars’ speeches and seeing him get his CTM. TM Khai Lim did her speech #2 and was evaluated byATM-G Jennie Tio. Khai has shown such presence and confidence on stage! Surely another possible contestant to represent ButternToast! And our 2 other speakers for the night are also showing great possibility as contenders to representButternToast in future TM contests! TM Gege Sugue doing her 2nd speech titled “Who you gonna call” andTM Alvin Tan doing his 4th speech, entitled “Wake Up!”Like most everyone in the audience, I was awed by the talents we have in our club! All the speakers for the night were awesome and I’m not kidding! Way to go,Mars, Khai, Gege and Alvin! And WOW! Am I glad I joined ButternToast! I’d sure HATE to be against any of these people in future TM area or division contests! Truly-ly! Oops, forgot to mention earlier, Gege was evaluated by an equally great speaker (and trainor), the smart and talented Edwin Ebreo. Ayan ha! Friend ko yan! And no,he didn’t have to bribe me for that one. Hehehe.. ;-> And Alvin was evaluated by our Club President no less,and of course, international speaker and over-all great lady, Michelle Lim. Woohoohoo!!! Big rounds of applause everyone! Our GE for the night was ATM-G Jennifer Tio, while Table Topics evaluator was Michelle Lim. Clearly,Jennie is really the best bet to represent the club in the upcoming Quartethlon and we’ll all be cheering for her! Now, I hope you’ll all forgive me for not mentioning who was part of the evaluation team because for the life of me, my copy of the programme is without names of the evaluators. But what do I remember about that meeting was Michelle’s goodbye. Michelle came up with this, which she shared with the group as her “bilins”(Pat and Gege, if you think of the appropriate word to replace “bilins”, do let me know… ;-> ):

G – Going out of our comfort zones
O – Opening closed doors
O – Offering new options
D – Doing things differently
B – Being Resourceful
Y – Yielding to the Inevitable
E – Embracing Change

To those who were unfortunately absent during said meeting, I’m sure Michelle would be more than happy toexpound more on this either thru email or in personwhen she comes back late November. Meeting adjourned, see you in November, Michelle!

"Living Juicy" - August 10 Minutes by TM Sheila Mapanao

AUGUST 10, 2005
Theme for the meeting: “Living Juicy”
Hosts: Team II

Meeting was called to order at 7:00 p.m. by ourPresident, Michelle Lim. TM of the PM was first-timerMars Sy and as expected, he did a fabulous job! Mars is more than ready to take on more ‘juicy’ roles inthe club in the future. That, I am sure of! :) Everyone, members and guests alike, were asked to introduce themselves, and include the word ‘juicy’ intheir introductions. Talk about an extraordinary way to get the creative juices flowing… Pun intended… :) Word of the Day was ably handled by Secretary “in training” Bryan Acosta. Another member from our team who we will surely be taking on more roles not only during meetings, but in the club as well. Hay, how I love delegating roles to my members. Hehehe… ;->Attendees for the meeting were the following:

1. Michelle Lim
2. Sheila dela Cruz
3. Pat Pascua
4. Mars Sy
5. Rael Ortiz
6. Bryan Acosta
7. Paulo Gavino
8. Katherine Lim
9. Ed Ebreo
10. RJ Laguardia

(sorry, guys! For the life of me, can’t find the attendance sheet so if you were inadvertently excluded from this list above, please say so. I only used our programme as a guide to see who was there. So am hoping you can all help out in “reconstructing” our attendance list. In the programme, Alvin Tan was listed down as the timer, but I do remember that time that Paulo took his place so I didn’t include him inthe attendance. Alvin, please do correct me if I made a mistake.)

Guests:
1. Emma Desano – invited by TM Ed Ebreo
2. Lutgarda “Lyka” Ambrosio – invited by TM Ed Ebreo

Our VP-Education Ed Ebreo did his speech #4 (entitled‘Seabiscuit’) and his speech was evaluated by noneother than our President, and ATM-S (or is it G now)Michelle Lim. TM Katherine “Giggs” Lim did her speech#3, titled “My Favorite Profession” and her evaluator was our Area Governor CTM Benjie Los Baños. Doing another one of her schizo acts and handling dual roles as usual was our President, Michelle Lim, since she was not only an individual evaluator but GeneralEvaluator (GE) as well. Other members of theevaluation team were TM Ed Ebreo who was Table Topics Evaluator, Ah Counter was yours truly, and Timekeeper was Paulo Gavino. Handling the very challenging role as Grammarian was one of our favorite Language Evaluators, CTM/CL Pat Pascua. (I say “one of our favorites” since I personally have a hard time deciding who my favorite grammarian is between Pat andGege.) :) As expected, Pat gave us another entertaining and most educational language evaluation! Whether it took another 12 minutes, I’m not telling…hehehe… ;-> Before adjourning for the night, Michelle also gave an educational speech on the how to become a President’s Distinguished Club. Being a new club is not stopping ButternToast from aiming for the highest goals for the club! As usual, it was another fun-filled but most importantly, educational night, which ended on a high note! We ended way past the 8:40 p.m. noted in the programme, but as usual, no one was in a hurry for the night to end. As always, ButternToast meetings are such a blast!

Signs of Life by TM Sheila Mapanao

SIGNS. When you hear the word “signs”, what’s the first thing that comes to mind? Maybe the street signs or billboards we encounter everyday while on the road? Well, honestly, I was thinking of totally different kind of signs. Am referring more to meanings, events or clues, or signals, or messages that we ask for and receive.

I’m sure you’ve heard this before. We know that St.Theresa was known as: "The Little Flower". Whenever you pray to her for a miracle, she will send you a rose in one form or another when the miracle has been granted. You may smell roses, receive a rose by visual means, etc.

Now, how does this apply to me? Before making a decision I usually pray for it first, then ask for a sign if I’m making the right decision. Even in such trivial decisions as buying a pair of shoes, I murmur a silent “prayer” (if you can call it that) that if the store doesn’t have the shoe in my size, then this beautiful pair of shoes is not for me. It was not meant to be… True! I’m like that! It sounds funny, I know, but I guess I’m so used to doing this, that it’s almost second nature.

Before I decided to leave my ex-husband, I was in a quandary. I had so many things to think about, but my primary consideration was the family, how I wanted to keep us all together. But then, I also had to think about my own safety (and sanity), and my kids’ safety as well. And I remember telling myself, just one more time. If this happens just one more time, I’m out of that door and I’m never going to turn back. So when that finally happened, I left and escaped out that door with just the kids and a few clothes in tow. And I’ve stuck with that decision. No amount of pleading, promises, or “what have yous” made me even consider going back. One thing you should know about me, I can be quite bull-headed once I decide on something.

Most of you know that I’m currently in between jobs (this is my current issue now!). And I remember before I made that leap of faith, and decide to call it quits from my last job, even before I had a new job lined up, I was very aware of signs that I was not happy anymore at my job. For one, I dreaded going to work. It was as if each working day I’d wake up sluggish and feeling sick. In the middle of the week, I was already looking forward to the weekend ahead. You know what I’m saying, right? We all have those days, I’m sure.But in my case, with my last job, these things happened EVERYDAY. But I knew I couldn’t just quit! Because a major concern for me then, was the financial issue. How was I going to survive without a job? How was I going to support my kids?

So what did I do? I prayed. I prayed for guidance that I was doing the right thing. And you know what kind of answer I got? I got a call from my previous employer,telling me that my last pay was already available for pick-up. So, suddenly I had the money that would tide me over during my unemployment. And you can bet, that same day that I found out that the money was already in my bank account, I tendered my resignation. Ha!That felt goood…Believe me, that felt really good.

So going back to my title “Signs of life”. Come to think of it, there really is a double meaning. It may refer to signs that we see in life, and signs that there is STILL life. That we are not merely existing,but living life! And hopefully, living it well!

So going back to the signs, signs that we see everyday. They may mean something to us. Whether we’re contemplating on leaving a job, starting a business,ending a relationship, or simply asking, “where do I go from here?” we have to look at the signs. Sometimes the sign may say, GO. Or even go, go, go! But sometimes, we also have to obey when the sign says,STOP. Or YIELD. Or DEAD END. Even if we try to close our eyes, and ignore the signs, things will start to happen that will push us to finally make a decision. A decision which is right for us.

I hope what I have shared with you now will hopefully,help you also with the issues you’re facing in your own lives. Good evening!

10 March 2005

Gratitude Attitude by TM Sheila Mapanao

Each afternoon I look forward to some quiet time alone, when my kids are at their tutor’s house, and I have the house all to myself. No loud music blaring from the radio, no tv, just me lying on the sofa, book or magazine in hand, reading, reading, reading. And all is quiet. Ah, pure bliss! This is the kind of lazy, quiet afternoon when I do my best thinking.

Some people are uncomfortable with the quiet, but I relish it since it comes so infrequently. Although these past few weeks, I have been spending a lot of quiet time alone, thinking things through, planning my days, and just enjoying my own company. I’m sure you’ve also had these moments, enjoying how good it feels to just be with yourself and think.

And what have these quiet afternoons resulted in? Well, honestly, a lot of peace of mind on my part. Am more comfortable now going with the flow, so to speak, and taking things as they come. No harried and frantic rushing to and from the house, No running around in circles deciding which project to do first. I am more relaxed now, and I feel ready to take on the world! Whereas before I was a lot worried about the uncertainties of the future, I feel a lot more confident now about what the future holds for me. I am thoroughly enjoying my vacation and the relaxation, as I’m sure that once I start another job, vacations such as this will be rare.

Another thing that I’ve realized… I realized how lucky and blessed I am. A few years back, I bought a journal with the cover titled, "A booklet of my blessings". A gratitude journal, something I started late 2003. I remember a saying, “think of all the things that you have that you will not take money for”, and that was the basis for a lot of things written in my gratitude journal.

Gratitude comes easily when our lives are in order. But the challenge is to find something to be grateful for even in the midst of personal hardship. I prepared my own personal list of favorite “good things”...something I refer to when work becomes stressful, or when life, in general, is not going my way. I’m sure we all have at one time or another experienced days when things just aren't going right. And that's the time I refer to my own list of favorite “good things”...

Admittedly, each person would have a different take on what would be considered a “good thing” but still please allow me to share with you a list of my favorite “good things”.

As expected, a lot of my favorite good things would have to do with my family, and friends, such as:
- watching my sons sleeping so soundly
- when my 4 year-old son says "i love you, mommy"
- watching my "bunso" learning how to walk (when he was then 9 months old)
- my Mom's cooking (yum yum!)
- my Dad's silly jokes and stories
- hugs and kisses from people I love
- cuddling and snuggling in bed
- reminiscing with old and dear friends

I also enjoy things such as:
- inspirational books (Og Mandino, Chicken soup series, etc...)
- "feel good" movies
- back rubs/massage
- curling up in bed with a good book
- knowing i've made someone happy
- memories of swimming/snorkeling in Pangasinan’s white sand beaches
- laughing uninhibitedly (LOL)
- love letters
- listening to songs from high school
- baby pictures
- quiet moments lying on the beach and looking up at the sky and white, puffy clouds
- chocolate cake
- Chili’s mashed potatoes
- watching the sunset on the beach (with a loved one, a pre-requisite)

That was my personal list. I also encourage each one of you to write your own personal list of “good things”, something for you to refer to when things just aren’t going your way. Don’t get too wrapped up in the hustle and bustle of everyday life, or your so-called "busy-ness". Don’t forget to acknowledge the blessings that you have been receiving, and spend more time being thankful!!! Practice gratitude every day of your life! And I hope I have inspired you to attain a “gratitude” attitude. Thank you, everyone, and GOD BLESS!

10 February 2005

Icebreaker by Sheila Mapanao

Good evening, everyone! Tonight’s the night I do my icebreaker speech! And the task at hand is to introduce myself to all you. Before I start, I’d like to ask… “When you are asked to introduce yourself, how do you do it?” Maybe you give out basic information like name, age, company you work for, etc. etc., right? Because that’s how we define ourselves. Well, tonight I’d like to be a bit different. Rather than telling you those basic information, which most of you probably already know anyway, I’d like to introduce myself by how I see myself…
First of all, I am a writer. Or more truthfully, a frustrated writer. I dream of someday writing a novel much like my favorite authors, Isabel Allende, John Grisham, J.K. Rowling, and a host of others. Even in grade school, I joined (and won) a number of writing contests. Now, I have a different outlet for my writing, and that is in blogging. For those of you who don’t know blogging is basically keeping an online journal.
Second, I am a bookworm, which I can say is the reason I wanted to be a writer in the first place! When I was younger, I could finish a thick book in 1 night! There were times that I would forego sleeping just to finish reading whatever book captured my interest and imagination.
Third, I’m also a movie buff. Friends usually joke that I’m their resident movie reviewer cum critic cum trivia guide. Name the actors or actresses in a movie, and there’d be a good chance I can name the movie.
But all the things I told you about me now is just a very shallow definition of who I really am. We’ve barely scratched the surface, as these are the things that I would tell practically anyone, even people I’ve just met. But to know the real me, you would have to know what I went through a few years back.
I was married 8 years ago in 1996, to my boyfriend of 9 years. The marriage started out happily at first. But by 2001, the marriage had unraveled and I had left my ex, with my kids, and just a few clothes and toys in tow. So imagine, I was with this person for a total of 14 years, almost half my life. And I certainly thought I knew him. For a while I couldn’t believe that I was in this sort of relationship…that this was the person I married. Rather than go through the details and relive those unpleasant moments, let me just say that I had gone through all 3 rings… engagement ring, wedding ring, and suffering. Truth be told, I was in a abusive relationship. And I had to get out, if not for me, then for my children who were witnesses to the abuse.
Looking back now, I can hardly believe that I was able to hurdle all those negative experiences. For a while, my self-esteem was wrought and I felt so helpless, so insecure. I was in a state of denial, and depression. But fighting back, standing up for myself, and being able to finally leave that house, that man, and that relationship, has definitely made me into a much stronger person.
My life now as a single mom is so, so much happier! I have 2 handsome, and loving sons and they are my life, my treasures. They are my reason for being. I do my best to bring them up as I want them to grow up to be fine young men, upstanding citizens of the world. And when I look at them now, so young and innocent, I know I made the right choice in leaving that marriage. And I know that I still have a long way to go in bringing up my children, and yet I look forward to the journey ahead. Because I believe in my heart, and in my soul, that in this world now I am first and foremost, a mother.
And that is how I’d like to be known to you. Good evening again to everyone! I’m Sheila, frustrated writer, bookworm, dreamer, fighter, and survivor, but above all, a mother! Thank you!