Card games are a Filipino past time that were handed down to us by over 300 years of Spanish colonial rule. However, our love for the more traditionally Western game of Poker is only beginning to grab hold of mainstream consciousness. Poker has many variants, but they are all similar in objective: to end up with the highest-valued hand at the end of each round. In order to do well in this game, one of the key tricks is to maintain a poker face, an expression that is ironically, devoid of expression. Otherwise, based on the players’ gestures alone, it is quite easy to win big in Poker.
But having a poker face isn’t that easy to an untrained player. After all, gestures are an almost involuntary form of communication for our species. According to behavioral scientists, in an ordinary conversation, only 5% of our message is relayed verbally. The other 38% is vocal, and the remaining 55% is non-verbal, through our gestures. In fact, one researcher went so bold as to say, that we speak, to hide what’s on our minds. Our gestures cannot lie.
Thus, it is interesting to know just what behavior scientists have found out with regards to our gestures, and telling lies. I will now demonstrate to you the common gestures that have been found to signal when a person is not being truthful. How will this help you, you may ask? It will keep you on your toes, say you are screening applicants, or if someone gives you a sales pitch, or at its most practical, if your significant other is making excuses.
For example,
“Yeah, hon, that dress really looks flattering on you. It brings out all the curves in all the right places.”
“I don’t see why any man would find her beautiful, least of all me. Next to her, you are a goddess, perfection personified.”
“Who says you sing out of tune? Anybody who tells you that has got to be tone deaf!”
Just what are the common “lying” gestures?
According to the book “Body Language,” by Allan Pease, when we lie, we are programmed to act out what is commonly depicted by the Three Monkeys: Speak no Evil, See no Evil, and Hear no Evil.
Speak no Evil. People often use their fingers or their fist to block their mouth. Sometimes this is seen as filtering the words that are coming out of the mouth. Sometimes, the thumb is pressed against the cheek. Some people give a fake cough. An offshoot of this may come in the form of several light rubs below the nose, or one quick touch.
See no Evil. People often rub or touch one or both eyes. This is seen as an attempt to avoid looking at the face of the person being lied to. Men usually rub vigorously, and if the lie is a big one, often look away. Women use a small, gentle, rubbing motion. Eye movement is also an indication. You normally look up, and to the left when thinking about the past, and up to the right, when imagining things.
Finally, hear no Evil. People cover one or both of their ears, or drill a finger into an ear. This is seen as an attempt to block the conversation. Some people rub the back of the ear, pull on the ear lobe, or bend the ear forward. A variation of this is the neck scratch, which is usually just five small scratches just below the ear.
But of course, there are other indicators, or as Jon Bode calls them, micro-gestures, that could signal deceit. Be careful though, not to look at gestures in isolation, as they have to be placed in the proper context. Gestures have been known to occur in series, and each succeeding one reinforces the ones that came before.
In the end, no matter how accurate gestures mapping or even the highly contestable polygraph test is, what is important is we are able to maintain an open mind, yet think critically before we swallow the bait, hook, line, and sinker. In fact, our ability to perceive truth is a function of our instincts.
And so, my dear friends, the next time someone shares with you something significant, be sure to observe his or her gestures, then judge what your next move will be. In the game of life, as in poker, the best move may just be to call the bluff. And that’s the whole truth.
Showing posts with label RJ Laguardia. Show all posts
Showing posts with label RJ Laguardia. Show all posts
Wednesday, March 15, 2006
Lessons From a Sea Slug by TM RJ Laguardia
I’m sure at one time or another, we’ve all been reminded, either by our friends, or by our “consciences” to watch what we eat. If this friendly persuasion is not enough, allow me to give an ironic illustration that might just push you over the edge.
In the Bay of Naples in Italy live the nudibranch, a type of sea slug, and the medusa, a type of jellyfish. Owing to its voracious appetite, the medusa ingests a lot of things, including little nudibranch larvae, which are immune to its digestive juices. And so, these larvae are lodged in the jellyfish’s stomach until they mature. Once they do, they start eating the poor jellyfish from the inside, until all that is left is a tiny, almost parasitic piece of the old jellyfish.
Ladies and gentlemen, if we are not careful, we might end up like the poor jellyfish. The threat to us, however, is not as obvious as sea slug larvae, yet it is just as dangerous, and even more lethal. I am talking about the silent killer scientists refer to as Colorectal Cancer.
Also called Colon Cancer, it is the second most common cancer in the world. It is also the second leading cause of cancer death, with a 50% mortality rate, according to the 2001 Asia-Pacific Cancer Conference. The majority of the patients are in the sixth and seventh decades of life, with a mean age of 55.3 years. Based on data from various International Agencies, there are an estimated 47,020 new cases of colon cancer in the Philippines each year.
Most persons with this cancer have either no symptoms or very generic symptoms, until the cancer reaches an advanced stage. This is made worse by low cancer prevention consciousness in the country, and the fact that most patients seek consultation only when the cancer is in its advanced stages. Not surprisingly, cancer survival rates are also low. According to the Philippine Cancer Control Program of the Department of Health, for every two cancer cases diagnosed annually, one will die within the year.
Thankfully though, prevention is possible. All it takes is to remember key factors that contribute to the risks of the disease. As I don’t think there is anyone in the room nearing the dreaded age of 50, I won’t dwell much on age. As I would like to assume that we all lead healthy lifestyles (i.e. no smoking or drinking, and plenty of regular exercise), I won’t dwell on lifestyle either. Instead, I will concentrate on the one risk factor that I think matters most: diet.
Colorectal Cancer incidence is closely related to diet. Just what kind of diet regimen is needed to combat this disease? The answer has been with us since our elementary school days: a balanced diet. The American Cancer Society recommends at least 5 servings of fruits and vegetables each day. The ACS also recommends several servings of other foods from plant sources such as breads, cereals, grain products, rice, pasta, or beans. Apparently, it isn’t the fiber, but the phytochemicals present in these substances that prevent cancer. An increased intake of calcium (at least 1,500 mg per day) is also helpful, as well as a diet rich in folate.
On the other hand, diets replete with fat, protein, calories, alcohol, and meat have been associated with an increased incidence of the cancer, especially if these are cooked at high temperatures and done so for a long period of time. Researchers from the National Cancer Institute of the US reveal that diners who eat their steaks medium-well or well-done are three times more likely to develop cancer than those who eat rare or medium-rare steaks. Those who eat beef four or more times a week are twice as likely to develop cancer. Interestingly enough, meat products served in fast food restaurants have been found to have low levels of these substances.
A 1996 study conducted by doctors Ramiro and Perez showed that lack of knowledge about a healthy diet is not the problem in this country. The problem is that we cannot marry our knowledge with actual practice. In the study, the respondents were asked to assess their current dietary practice along a scale. A majority of them responded in the satisfactory to poor range. Despite this, however, a good number were still ambivalent as to whether or not they were willing to give up unhealthy practices.
These are relatively simple adjustments we have to make. If we don’t change now, it might be too late. A friend’s mother was recently diagnosed with Stage IV Colorectal Cancer. The sad thing is, prior to that, she thought she was in the pink of health as everyone else in the room probably thinks he or she is. Amplify that thought, and project it to the various members of your family who might be living with this devastation right under our very noses. When it comes to cancer, prevention is priceless, no matter what the cure.
Remember that it wouldn’t hurt to add more fruit and vegetable servings in your diets. Remember that it wouldn’t hurt to cut down on meat products cooked at high temperatures and for long periods. Remember that with Colorectal Cancer, you don’t know what you have until it’s gone. After all, you are what you eat. In the end, it’s almost like choosing between being the slug or the jellyfish. I’d rather be the slug. How about you?
In the Bay of Naples in Italy live the nudibranch, a type of sea slug, and the medusa, a type of jellyfish. Owing to its voracious appetite, the medusa ingests a lot of things, including little nudibranch larvae, which are immune to its digestive juices. And so, these larvae are lodged in the jellyfish’s stomach until they mature. Once they do, they start eating the poor jellyfish from the inside, until all that is left is a tiny, almost parasitic piece of the old jellyfish.
Ladies and gentlemen, if we are not careful, we might end up like the poor jellyfish. The threat to us, however, is not as obvious as sea slug larvae, yet it is just as dangerous, and even more lethal. I am talking about the silent killer scientists refer to as Colorectal Cancer.
Also called Colon Cancer, it is the second most common cancer in the world. It is also the second leading cause of cancer death, with a 50% mortality rate, according to the 2001 Asia-Pacific Cancer Conference. The majority of the patients are in the sixth and seventh decades of life, with a mean age of 55.3 years. Based on data from various International Agencies, there are an estimated 47,020 new cases of colon cancer in the Philippines each year.
Most persons with this cancer have either no symptoms or very generic symptoms, until the cancer reaches an advanced stage. This is made worse by low cancer prevention consciousness in the country, and the fact that most patients seek consultation only when the cancer is in its advanced stages. Not surprisingly, cancer survival rates are also low. According to the Philippine Cancer Control Program of the Department of Health, for every two cancer cases diagnosed annually, one will die within the year.
Thankfully though, prevention is possible. All it takes is to remember key factors that contribute to the risks of the disease. As I don’t think there is anyone in the room nearing the dreaded age of 50, I won’t dwell much on age. As I would like to assume that we all lead healthy lifestyles (i.e. no smoking or drinking, and plenty of regular exercise), I won’t dwell on lifestyle either. Instead, I will concentrate on the one risk factor that I think matters most: diet.
Colorectal Cancer incidence is closely related to diet. Just what kind of diet regimen is needed to combat this disease? The answer has been with us since our elementary school days: a balanced diet. The American Cancer Society recommends at least 5 servings of fruits and vegetables each day. The ACS also recommends several servings of other foods from plant sources such as breads, cereals, grain products, rice, pasta, or beans. Apparently, it isn’t the fiber, but the phytochemicals present in these substances that prevent cancer. An increased intake of calcium (at least 1,500 mg per day) is also helpful, as well as a diet rich in folate.
On the other hand, diets replete with fat, protein, calories, alcohol, and meat have been associated with an increased incidence of the cancer, especially if these are cooked at high temperatures and done so for a long period of time. Researchers from the National Cancer Institute of the US reveal that diners who eat their steaks medium-well or well-done are three times more likely to develop cancer than those who eat rare or medium-rare steaks. Those who eat beef four or more times a week are twice as likely to develop cancer. Interestingly enough, meat products served in fast food restaurants have been found to have low levels of these substances.
A 1996 study conducted by doctors Ramiro and Perez showed that lack of knowledge about a healthy diet is not the problem in this country. The problem is that we cannot marry our knowledge with actual practice. In the study, the respondents were asked to assess their current dietary practice along a scale. A majority of them responded in the satisfactory to poor range. Despite this, however, a good number were still ambivalent as to whether or not they were willing to give up unhealthy practices.
These are relatively simple adjustments we have to make. If we don’t change now, it might be too late. A friend’s mother was recently diagnosed with Stage IV Colorectal Cancer. The sad thing is, prior to that, she thought she was in the pink of health as everyone else in the room probably thinks he or she is. Amplify that thought, and project it to the various members of your family who might be living with this devastation right under our very noses. When it comes to cancer, prevention is priceless, no matter what the cure.
Remember that it wouldn’t hurt to add more fruit and vegetable servings in your diets. Remember that it wouldn’t hurt to cut down on meat products cooked at high temperatures and for long periods. Remember that with Colorectal Cancer, you don’t know what you have until it’s gone. After all, you are what you eat. In the end, it’s almost like choosing between being the slug or the jellyfish. I’d rather be the slug. How about you?
Playing the Game by TM RJ Laguardia
Is there anybody here who hasn’t been to, or watched a basketball game in recent months? Basketball may very well be our true national sport, despite our physical disadvantage to other races. We Filipinos know so much about the sport. If I were to ask some of you what you consider as the key success factor in basketball, some would perhaps say that it’s the pre-game preparation, or the critical last two-minute period, or the fast breaks in between. If you really think about it, though, a critical key success factor in playing the game happens ironically, while you’re not on the court. I’m talking about the time-out. During time-out, the team gets a chance to see how far it has gone so far, and what possible courses of action to take to ensure that it ends up winning the game.
However, the concept of “time-out” is not just confined to the basketball court. It also applies to other games, even to the most crucial game of all, the game of life. These days, our workplace gossip and small talk are populated with words such as “overworked,” “burn out,” “dispassionate,” “midlife crises”, often in reference either to ourselves, or to people we know. We have increasingly become a people whose identities are defined by the careers we lead. More often than not, people find themselves trapped in the status quo that they really didn’t want in the first place. We often have careers that are patterned after what is considered “socially acceptable” and “monetarily practical” without consideration for what really makes us tick. And so, most of us drudge on, and grow increasingly dissatisfied with each day that passes. One solution to this dilemma is the ever so convenient time-out.
By time-out of course, I am referring to a structured and definite period off or break from the normal hectic work or student life. It also must have a specific, measurable objective in mind. It is not just an excuse to go on vacation, or a mindless and seemingly endless shopping spree. A carefully planned time-out allows you to literally find “yourself”, allowing for a sharper focus towards the activities that really matter in your life, and which bring you closer to your ultimate goal: the person you want to be. What people do during time-outs differs from one person to another. You could try traveling, but not of the tour variety, but of literally roughing it out to build character and gain maturity. You could try volunteer work to maximize your potential for fulfillment. Whatever the case, time-out should be a personal time for meditation and fun, of living, of playing the game of life. It is in quiet moments such as these that we gain clarity.
This practice is already fairly common in Western Europe, particularly among students, and is gaining popularity in the United States. A recent survey of Harvard University students revealed that as much as 20% of its student population had taken time off of school. Whereas you’d normally expect that some of these wouldn’t make it back, Harvard’s graduation rate is a whopping 97%. In fact, some guidance counselors advise this practice to students in transition from high school to college, and as some of you here are or will be parents, you may want to have a similar, but structured program for your children. After all, today’s youngsters need a break from the tremendous amount of pressure to excel they are subjected to from the time they enter school. Schools and employers appreciate it better when an applicant is able to articulate why he/she is pursuing a particular career path, and a time-out is actually the best time to figure out one’s passion, and the underlying reasons behind this passion.
The most obvious disadvantage of this practice is the connotation that it is “impractical,” and with good reason, too. Most people just don’t have the luxury of time to have time off, be it because of job security, or that their families are expecting more financial support for them. Those who go on time-outs are branded as “lazy” or “aimless.” Again, allow me to make a distinction. A time-out is not an excuse to bum around. It is structured, and it has a definite goal in mind.
Thus, the time-out is a powerful tool we should learn to embrace, understand, and accept. It may not work for everyone, but we should respect the fact that it works for other people too. It becomes especially powerful when we realize that our wayward child, or our unhappy friend may actually benefit from some soulful indulgence. Instead of judging or criticizing them for taking a break and being “unproductive”, let us instead support or encourage them in their search for purpose. In this way, any negative connotation that this practice brings will be slowly erased, in our families at the very least. There is still a long way to go, though. A time out may cost you some time to get you to your goal, but it will help you get there anyway. Thankfully, in life, as in any other game, what matters is not how you start but how you finish.
However, the concept of “time-out” is not just confined to the basketball court. It also applies to other games, even to the most crucial game of all, the game of life. These days, our workplace gossip and small talk are populated with words such as “overworked,” “burn out,” “dispassionate,” “midlife crises”, often in reference either to ourselves, or to people we know. We have increasingly become a people whose identities are defined by the careers we lead. More often than not, people find themselves trapped in the status quo that they really didn’t want in the first place. We often have careers that are patterned after what is considered “socially acceptable” and “monetarily practical” without consideration for what really makes us tick. And so, most of us drudge on, and grow increasingly dissatisfied with each day that passes. One solution to this dilemma is the ever so convenient time-out.
By time-out of course, I am referring to a structured and definite period off or break from the normal hectic work or student life. It also must have a specific, measurable objective in mind. It is not just an excuse to go on vacation, or a mindless and seemingly endless shopping spree. A carefully planned time-out allows you to literally find “yourself”, allowing for a sharper focus towards the activities that really matter in your life, and which bring you closer to your ultimate goal: the person you want to be. What people do during time-outs differs from one person to another. You could try traveling, but not of the tour variety, but of literally roughing it out to build character and gain maturity. You could try volunteer work to maximize your potential for fulfillment. Whatever the case, time-out should be a personal time for meditation and fun, of living, of playing the game of life. It is in quiet moments such as these that we gain clarity.
This practice is already fairly common in Western Europe, particularly among students, and is gaining popularity in the United States. A recent survey of Harvard University students revealed that as much as 20% of its student population had taken time off of school. Whereas you’d normally expect that some of these wouldn’t make it back, Harvard’s graduation rate is a whopping 97%. In fact, some guidance counselors advise this practice to students in transition from high school to college, and as some of you here are or will be parents, you may want to have a similar, but structured program for your children. After all, today’s youngsters need a break from the tremendous amount of pressure to excel they are subjected to from the time they enter school. Schools and employers appreciate it better when an applicant is able to articulate why he/she is pursuing a particular career path, and a time-out is actually the best time to figure out one’s passion, and the underlying reasons behind this passion.
The most obvious disadvantage of this practice is the connotation that it is “impractical,” and with good reason, too. Most people just don’t have the luxury of time to have time off, be it because of job security, or that their families are expecting more financial support for them. Those who go on time-outs are branded as “lazy” or “aimless.” Again, allow me to make a distinction. A time-out is not an excuse to bum around. It is structured, and it has a definite goal in mind.
Thus, the time-out is a powerful tool we should learn to embrace, understand, and accept. It may not work for everyone, but we should respect the fact that it works for other people too. It becomes especially powerful when we realize that our wayward child, or our unhappy friend may actually benefit from some soulful indulgence. Instead of judging or criticizing them for taking a break and being “unproductive”, let us instead support or encourage them in their search for purpose. In this way, any negative connotation that this practice brings will be slowly erased, in our families at the very least. There is still a long way to go, though. A time out may cost you some time to get you to your goal, but it will help you get there anyway. Thankfully, in life, as in any other game, what matters is not how you start but how you finish.
Gems - Icebreaker Speech of TM RJ Laguardia
Good evening. My name is Romeo Laguardia, Jr., but you can call me RJ. It’s shorter and much less romantic. I am now at the ripe old age of 22, and, in a few days, I will be celebrating my 6th month in my first job, and I am fortunate to have Pilipinas Shell as my first employer. I love useless information, or trivia, so tonight, aside from introducing myself, I would like to share something about a gemstone I find fascinating, the diamond. By “diamond,” of course, I mean the mineral, because the word is also street slang for homosexual and Viagra, the former I most certainly am not, and the latter, I don’t need. Diamonds are precious objects. Diamonds are girls’ best friends, so imagine the skyrocketing pogi points just one stone could give to a guy. And yet, at the very heart of it, these things are nothing more than ordinary rocks that were subjected to a tremendous amount of heat and pressure, and withstood this torture, to become the glorious stuff that many dreams are made of. The diamond’s secret is that it contains graphite, the very same stuff that’s in lead pencils. Think about it. Something as fragile as a pencil can become something as enduring as a diamond. For us humans, the very same scenario is possible. I myself can say that in many ways, I am like a diamond, well, sort of. Allow me to explain.
Number one, diamonds reflect light, and so, can be as bright as stars. Well, I’m no star myself, but I am related to a real movie star. Born and raised in the City of Smiles, Bacolod City, I have honest-to-goodness genuine movie star blood running through my veins, courtesy of Mr. Joel Torre, who is my mom’s cousin. This also means I have the sickeningly affectionate Ilonggo blood coursing through those same veins, too. Not only that, My Dad’s claim to fame was that he once played for the NBA – the Negros Basketball Association, that is.
Number two, there are many facets or aspects to each diamond. There are also many aspects to my personality. I delight in variety, and this is reflected in my eclectic range of interests, particularly when it comes to music and literature. I literally devour books when I come across something interesting, sometimes foregoing sleep just because I can’t put the book down. Which reminds me, there is a sale ongoing at Fully Booked, and I can’t wait to get my butt over there.
Number three, diamonds are the strongest terrestrial minerals. Because I am seen as somebody tough and sometimes intimidating, I am like a diamond too, in that regard. But the strongest feature I have that enables me to transcend my frailty, in the same way that ordinary pencil lead becomes a sterling diamond, is not something physical. In fact, aside from my education, it is my parents’ greatest legacy to me: my faith. Some of you may shirk at this answer, but I truly believe that this gift is the glue that holds all of me together. It encourages me to make the most out of my life, to remain steadfast in my convictions, and to keep my feet firmly planted on the ground. It reminds me that despite all the evil in this world, there is still plenty of good left in humanity. I said earlier that diamonds are precious objects, but to me, they are certainly no match for the gem that is faith.
Number one, diamonds reflect light, and so, can be as bright as stars. Well, I’m no star myself, but I am related to a real movie star. Born and raised in the City of Smiles, Bacolod City, I have honest-to-goodness genuine movie star blood running through my veins, courtesy of Mr. Joel Torre, who is my mom’s cousin. This also means I have the sickeningly affectionate Ilonggo blood coursing through those same veins, too. Not only that, My Dad’s claim to fame was that he once played for the NBA – the Negros Basketball Association, that is.
Number two, there are many facets or aspects to each diamond. There are also many aspects to my personality. I delight in variety, and this is reflected in my eclectic range of interests, particularly when it comes to music and literature. I literally devour books when I come across something interesting, sometimes foregoing sleep just because I can’t put the book down. Which reminds me, there is a sale ongoing at Fully Booked, and I can’t wait to get my butt over there.
Number three, diamonds are the strongest terrestrial minerals. Because I am seen as somebody tough and sometimes intimidating, I am like a diamond too, in that regard. But the strongest feature I have that enables me to transcend my frailty, in the same way that ordinary pencil lead becomes a sterling diamond, is not something physical. In fact, aside from my education, it is my parents’ greatest legacy to me: my faith. Some of you may shirk at this answer, but I truly believe that this gift is the glue that holds all of me together. It encourages me to make the most out of my life, to remain steadfast in my convictions, and to keep my feet firmly planted on the ground. It reminds me that despite all the evil in this world, there is still plenty of good left in humanity. I said earlier that diamonds are precious objects, but to me, they are certainly no match for the gem that is faith.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
LinkWithin
