The June Bride and other stories of Tatang Louy

Vente-otso! Nagasat nga aldaw dayta!

Twenty-eight! That's a lucky day!

I had heard these words tens of times, perhaps a hundred - each time when my grandfather embarked on his journey back in time, back to the years when he was young, much younger than his 70, 80, 90 years, his actual age depending on the instance when he would enchant me with his stories.

I am the eldest grandchild. I grew up in Ilocos with my grandparents, Tatang Louy and Nanang Atting.

Tatang planted the seeds of storytelling in my being - introducing me to the world of his youth, widening my imagination, urging me to enjoy my own life - so that someday, I will have my own stories to share.

But for tonight, I will share with you some of the stories of my Tatang Louy.

On top of the list would be on that particular day in 1933 when it showered in Vigan.

It was June 28; yes, the lucky day! Tatang Louy said that the number eight signifies good luck, for the last stroke goes up. Thus, he set his wedding date on a day that ends in eight. Tatang and Nanang felt doubly happy, for on the day they became one, the heaven opened its gates to shower on them. A shower, Tatang said, meant blessings from heaven. It may have rained in their parade, Tatang and Nanang may have gotten slightly wet from the brief shower, but this just whet their appetite to build a happy life together.

There was Nanang Atting, the June Bride, too shy to let Tatang have her picture taken even for posterity. There was Tatang Louy, the dashing groom, hopeful that luck and divine blessings will help strengthen the family they are to build in the next decades.

Two Mondays ago, they would have been married for 77 years. Who would have thought that a shy girl from the provincial village of Camangaan will end up being happily married for decades to a poor-boy-turned-debonair-young-man who left his equally provincial village of Naguilian for the pineapple plantations of Hawaii and busy streets of Chicago?

My second story would give you a glimpse on what happened months before that lucky and blessed day.

It was November 1932. A decade or so before, Tatang boarded a ship to Hawaii using his uncle's cedula, for he was too poor to pay for his own. For the next ten years, he had his share of being a waterboy in Hawaii, an unfocused man in the mainland, until becoming a well-appreciated houseboy in Chicago. A thousand dollars richer after, Tatang decided to come home, for good. And his path crossed with that of Nanang, a neighbor whom he hardly noticed in the 1920s, she being five years his junior. Using Nanang's brother as ambassador of his love, Tatang started to write letters to Nanang. The courtship started with a formal letter addressed to Miss Fama, followed by one for Mr. Quitevis; progressing to one for Patring, followed by another for Louy; and further progressing to My Dear Patring, followed by My Dear Louy.

There was Tatang, now a cosmopolitan bachelor with the confident airs of a landing, someone who landed on the pier from an international ship. There was Nanang, still the village girl whose farthest place she traveled to was Mindanao, who initially resisted Tatang's charms but eventually fell for it.

Tomorrow I will air out their love letters. More than any material things, I treasure these as part of my memories of my dear Tatang Louy and my dear Nanang Atting.

My last story would be a memory of a memory, as I remember how Tatang remembered Nanang.

It was February 1985. Tatang and Nanang had been married for more than 51 years. I had been living with them for little over ten years. Tatang was on one of his business trips to Pangasinan. Nanang and I were left behind in Ilocos. With diabetes already affecting her health, Nanang had an episode of low blood pressure, and we had to rush her to the hospital. Two days after Valentine's day, Nanang left us, without Tatang by her side.

There was Tatang, arriving hours after Nanang breathed her last. He kept on saying that day, and on lonely days in the next twelve years, that Nanang slipped away without even saying goodbye. Naglibas. her soul left her body, and she left us just like that. There was Nanang, no longer with us yet will always be in our hearts.

Tonight, I remember Tatang and Nanang once more. By sharing their stories, as told to me by Tatang those countless nights we had together, I am with them again. It is my hope that the seeds of storytelling planted by Tatang in my being will continue to bloom into a passion for learning and for sharing the lessons in life.

Luck in numbers, luck in showers. Love for our dear ones, those with us and those long gone. Lust for learning, with the taste of the BnT life.

If Tatang Louy would have been alive today, he would have exclaimed, "Otso! Nagasat nga aldaw tatta!"

Eight! Today's a lucky day!

The future is bright at Butter N Toast!

- by Faye Q. Flores Melegrito
Basic Speech No. 4: How to Say It; presented on 08 July 2010

Save a peso, Gain a future

by: Toastmaster Faye Melegrito

A centavo saved is a peso gained.

Who among you had a piggy bank in your youth, from which you probably attempted to retrieve a coin or two on several occasions? Who had a Kiddie Account in your parents’ banks, for the free stickers and pencils if not the minimal interest? Who moved on to more complex financial portfolios like regular savings accounts, time deposits, stock options?

Who knows the moral of the story of “The Ant and the Grasshopper”? Yes, save for the rainy days. (All summer, the ant stored food while the grasshopper played. Come winter, the ant had lots of food while the grasshopper starved.) What are the rainy days for which we now save?
Our children’s education, that dream vacation, our own house, that incredible car, our own business venture, our retirement years, what else?

Yes, saving can be considered the IN thing, the quest to aim for, the right thing to do if we want to gain something.

Tonight, I share with you a saving technique with an agency usually associated with housing. For the Pag-IBIG Fund is not just the Filipino workers’ partner in housing finance, it is also our partner in provident savings.

WHAT is Pag-IBIG Fund? When it was created 29 years ago, the Home Development Mutual Fund or Pag-IBIG Fund built a provident fund that encouraged the Filipino workers to save a few pesos of their monthly salary, the accumulated savings to be withdrawn upon maturity. Through the years, the Pag-IBIG Fund has grown from a workers’ provident fund to the country’s premier provider of housing finance. Thus, if we are not housing loan borrowers, we may likely complain of our Pag-IBIG deduction upon seeing our payslip. Why do I have to shell-out P100 for my Pag-IBIG contribution, when I don’t even plan on buying a house, you might say. I could have used those hundred pesos for other things, you might even add. But then, it is good to save with Pag-IBIG.

HOW do we save with Pag-IBIG Fund? Those hundred pesos from your salary coupled with another hundred pesos from your employer comprise your monthly contribution. And your monthly contributions are added up to become your total accumulated value or TAV. What’s more, at the end of the year, your TAV is further fattened-up by the annual dividend proportionately credited by the Pag-IBIG Fund to its members’ TAV.

WHY save with Pag-IBIG Fund? When we hear the good news that the Pag-IBIG Fund earns billions a year, we actually experience this good news in the form of dividends. Although it is mandated to set aside annually no less than 70% of its net income as dividends, in 2009 the Pag-IBIG Fund declared P8.5 Billion in dividends, representing 71% of its net income for that year.

Now, you may ask, What do I need my Pag-IBIG Fund TAV for? You might even strongly opine, It doesn’t amount to any substantial value, with two hundred pesos a month, twenty-four hundred pesos a year plus dividend!

I next offer you three ways of looking at your Pag-IBIG contributions, for you to appreciate your TAV all the more.

First, your TAV could be your NEST EGG, if you are an employee.

Think about it, we don’t pay much attention to the hundred pesos deducted from our salary, since we focus our eyes on the net pay. Now, what if we double our contribution, add another hundred or more? Our TAV will then increase double or more, depending on how much we increased our contribution. An additional hundred pesos or more equates to just a combo meal or a restaurant entree. We will hardly feel the added deduction. But we will certainly feel the added gains when we withdraw our TAV upon maturity.

Your TAV fills your wallet when you retire.

Second, your TAV could be your RETIREMENT PACKAGE for your employees, if you are an employer.

Think about it, if you are in business, you likely pay more attention on cutting costs than adding value to your personnel. Now, if you increase your employer counterpart to your employees’ Pag-IBIG contribution to more than the mandated hundred pesos, you will be sending a good message to your workforce. As a result of matching their increased monthly contribution, your employees’ TAV subsequently increases, providing them an ample fund for their retirement years.

Your employees’ TAV will fill their wallet when they retire, and they will surely thank you for their high TAV.

Third, your TAV could be your INVESTMENT, if you are a self-employed professional.

Think about it, you don’t consider Pag-IBIG Fund unless you plan on buying a house. Now, if you’re self-employed, either with your own small enterprise or with your practice as a professional, I invite you to look at Pag-IBIG Fund in a new way. Registering with Pag-IBIG Fund and growing your TAV could be an investment opportunity where you can place a part of your income in sales or professional fees into the Fund, a mutual fund. Remember, your TAV earns dividends each year, dividends which have been increasing every year since Pag-IBIG Fund is performing well.

Your TAV fills your wallet when you harvest the rewards of your passive income.

I now invite you to start looking at the other face of Pag-IBIG Fund, its provident savings feature. The Pag-IBIG Fund remains your partner, both in realizing your dream of homeownership and in saving for a stable future.

By adding a few pesos to your Pag-IBIG Fund TAV, you gain a brighter future. Let Pag-IBIG Fund be your piggy bank in your adulthood.

Save up, save now, and save with Pag-IBIG Fund!

Toastmasters Speech No. 2: Urban Dwellers, Get Involved

Urban Dwellers, Get Involved! We can plan our future!
Toastmasters Speech Project No. 2: Organize your speech
By: Faye F. Melegrito

A day before typhoon Ondoy unleashed its wrath in Metro Manila and nearby provinces, I was preparing my and my six-year-old daughter Luce’s week-end gear. We were to spend the next two days in Makati, as we were supposed to join the 3-km event of the New Balance Power Run. Makati was a more convenient take-off point to the event at the Fort on September 27, rather than our home in Marikina, a couple of hours away. As an afterthought, I placed her Enchanted Kingdom poncho raincoat atop her I Can Serve Foundation shirt. “In case it drizzles during the run,” I told myself.

As we all know, it did not drizzle that week-end of September 26 and 27. The gates of heaven opened wide and poured far-from-heavenly rain on Filipino urbanites, drenching not just our bodies and our homes, but our souls as well. In the aftermath, as the people waded through floodwaters, as they dug through their belongings mixed with mud and garbage, different sectors started blaming each other, pointing an accusing finger on each other’s negligence and supposed role in the tragedy that Ondoy brought us.

The Ondoy experience now proves to be a good wake up call for all of us, whether we are mere citizens of the Philippines or officials, policy drafters, or lawmakers of the land. All of us, no matter our status in life, are stakeholders in our planet, in our country, in our habitat, in our urban dwellings. And as stakeholders, we hold responsibility for our future.

Allow me to share with you these passages from the UN Habitat website: “The United Nations has designated the first Monday of October every year as World Habitat Day. The idea is to reflect on the state of our towns and cities and the basic right of all to adequate shelter. It is also intended to remind the world of its collective responsibility for the future of the human habitat. This year’s theme “Planning our urban future” aims to raise awareness of the need to improve urban planning to deal with new challenges of the 21st century. This is because urban settlements in all parts of the world are being influenced by new and powerful forces. In both developed and developing countries, cities and towns are increasingly feeling the effects of climate change, resource depletion, food insecurity, population growth and economic instability.”

I now take this opportunity to challenge you, my fellow urban dwellers, to take action towards a well-planned future in urban Philippines. For starters, I share with you three circles of influence within which we can start planning our urban future.

The first circle of influence is the easiest, as it involves only our individual selves.

Perhaps, we can start by taking stock of our personal practices. Do we drive our self to the community mall when we can walk instead? Do we ride the elevator two floors up, while we can take the stairs? Do we run our errands crisscrossing the metropolis, while we can plan our route and maximize our errand time? Do we throw our small items of rubbish here and there, while we can keep them in our pockets and later throw them in a garbage can somewhere? Do we lavishly take long baths and showers, when we can use timba and tabo? Do we prefer motorcycles over bikes, battery-powered items over wind-ups, plastic bags over eco bags? I hope we can proudly answer, “No, I don’t. I care for my habitat.”

A caring individual carries the good habits with him or her, constantly practices them, and eventually becomes their embodiment, possibly inspiring the bigger circles around him or her.

The second circle of influence is not that far from us, as it includes our family and friends.

Let us now widen our circle and invite our families and friends to join us in our quest for a better urban future. Do we place our garbage in one bin instead of segregating them? Do we use separate cars instead of carpooling? Do we spend much time on television or video games instead of playing electricity-free and creative-rich games? Do we prefer a concrete backyard over a greener one, new items over recycled ones? I hope we can proudly answer, “No, my family and friends don’t. We care for our habitat.”

A caring family passes on to the younger generations and even future generations the traits of responsibility and accountability, creating generations of individuals who care.

The third circle of influence is much wider, as it now encompasses our community, be this our residential community, office community, or online community.

Let us next enlist our respective communities in our move to have a better urban future. Do we confine ourselves inside our houses rather than go out and participate in community endeavors? Do we practice kanya-kanya, tayo-tayo, or sila-sila, rather than join forces as one community? Do we tend to complain rather than suggest alternatives or passively receive benefits rather than actively participate in planning? I hope we can proudly answer, “No, our community don’t. We care for our habitat.”

A caring community leads to stronger and more collective action, an advantageous leverage if we want our Congress Representatives to hear our calls for a greener district.

A little over a week after typhoon Ondoy left the Philippine area of responsibility, the world celebrated World Habitat Day last October 5. This year’s theme: “Planning our urban future” now sounds more personal to us, Filipinos. The Filipino urban dwellers face the seemingly unsurmountable task of rebuilding our homes and our lives.

A mere raincoat will not surely protect us from future typhoons, as our urban kingdom has lost its enchantment. However, no mud-filled floodwater could wash away the Filipino people’s strong spirit. Let us be caring individuals from a caring family, in a caring community. Let us do our part as individuals, as a family, as a community. Let us get up, get out, get involved!

Ice-Breaker Speech (Faye Melegrito): The Child Giving Birth to the Mother

Six years ago today, I held my baby girl in my arms for the first time. We did not expect her until September 29. My husband even hoped she’d have the same birthday as John Lennon, October 9.

However, God had other plans for us. On my sixth month of pregnancy, my amniotic fluid level was not as high as it should be. It was still stubbornly low on my eighth month. Thus, on a Friday afternoon, 21 days after I turned 31, I was hospitalized for rehydration.And Despite the low fluid level in her uterine environment, my little girl was in a fighting form. My earlier ultrasound sessions showed her to be within the normal weight and length for her age. How proud and relieved I felt when her biophysical profile scores always turned out perfect. Not even having come out of my womb yet, my baby was already being graded.

By Sunday night, I had to be injected with drug X to strengthen my baby’s lungs, in preparation for premature birth. The next day, Monday morning of August 25, I still had a low fluid level. A little after noon, I transferred to a nearby hospital. Like a salmon going back to its breeding ground, I wanted to give birth in the hospital where my own mother gave birth to me.

When I was opened up, the doctors told me that my uterus was small. So small that my baby had to get out, to be free, as eight months in my womb are enough time for her to gestate. At 3PM, my baby girl, Luce Domini, was scooped out of my womb. She weighed just 2 kilos and measured 1-foot-5 inches; but her APGAR score was a high 9, remarkable for a prematurely-born infant. “Hello, baby,” I told her when the nurse showed her to me, swathed in hospital-green clothe, so small. Then I drifted to sleep, to be awakened by the Angelus as I was wheeled to my room.

It was not until 2 days later when I would see my baby again. To avoid possible complications, she didn’t room-in with me. Later that day, I held my baby in my arms for the first time.

Fast forward to summer 2009. My husband and I now have a young girl bursting with confidence and showing such negotiating skills, she usually ends up getting the better deal after most collective bargaining agreements.

At that time, she has been attending Kumon Reading sessions for three months. My little girl’s progress is summarized by a graph. Three more lines show advanced levels at one year, two years, or three years, where the child can receive bronze, silver, or gold medals for being ahead of her actual school level.

Luce and I would often look at her graph. That summer, we set goals for her. “Finish Level 2A before your birthday and you’d be getting a bronze,” I showed her.

I wanted her to learn to read, to enjoy the printed word as much as I do, or even more. Thus, I’ve surrounded Luce with books since she was a baby. In fact, I started reading to her in utero. Oh, I’d read to her the places she’d go; I’d tell her of Yertle the Turtle and Daisy McFuzz. Now, oh, the joy I feel, the pride that makes my heart swell when she reads to me the exploits of Cat in the hat, or the little red hen, or the house that Jack built.

I guess, like any mother, I want a mini version of me in my daughter. Since she’s undoubtedly her father’s daughter in looks, in humming to tunes, and in tapping to the rhythm, I explored other avenues to create a little Faye in my Luce.

As I guided my child towards enhancing her reading skills, I began contemplating on my own enhancement. There was my daughter, progressing towards a bronze medal before August ends. What about me? Towards what goal am I moving forward to? Am I moving in the first place? I didn’t think so.

Last summer, I felt stuck in the quagmire of self doubts. I felt immobile as my spirit was like a flat tire, devoid of air, no wind to life me up. I felt sad, tired, lost.

Yet my daughter, true to her name, Luce, light, she enlightened me. I once wrote a poem for my husband, referring to him as my north star, my lighthouse. Last summer, as I felt lost, adrift at sea, my daughter beamed her own light. Smaller than her father’s, yes. But as bright, as lively, as inspiring.

My little Luce, my little lighthouse, lighted my path. My little Luce, my young daughter, showed me the way. My little Luce, my very own child, gave birth to a new me.

I embarked on a new mission. Codename: Finding Faye.

I aimed to shed my old self and looked forward to seeing the new me. I bade goodbye to some scars, literally and figuratively, as I uncovered the real me. I started with a leg peeling treatment, followed by a writing workshop, and then a speech course. By the time my legs had been scrubbed clean of dermal debris, I have finally transformed a few ideas into several written pieces, and with enough confidence to pitch my written work to others.

Last month, I finally attended Butter N Toast sessions, a plan I have wanted to do since 2007. Like my daughter with her Kumon, I am now working towards a goal, towards becoming a CC after a year, towards becoming a CL a year after that. I turned 37 last August 1 and have just been born again. I see myself growing in Butter N Toast.

I have swept away the cobwebs in my mind, I have flexed my muscles into action. Here I am. I have found Faye.

And tonight, six years after I first held my baby girl in my arms, I stand before you and present my first speech. It is my hope that as tightly as I embraced my daughter that August night in the hospital nursery, you would equally accept me in your fold.