Practice! Practice! Practice! It's really not that hard.

The Vice President for Education's job is one of the worst in the world. Okay, not as bad as this:







but it's really hard. It's thankless and the pay is very low... oh wait, there is no pay. I can say that because I was once VP Ed. And being the President feels like a vacation after that VP Ed stint. You see, as Vice President for Education, you are in charge of putting together the program. Yes, every program. So, it's a regular 2-week cycle of preparation. And frustration.

Through the years, we have learned a few lessons and have improved our system, which now includes getting speaking commitments two weeks before the meeting. That means, while the current meeting is being held, we are filling in the spots for the next meeting. A pretty good system when things work out well.

But there are those weeks when a few days before the meeting, Captain Murphy and his darn laws march in and mess things up. Slated speakers cancel. (Yes, if this is guilting YOU out, it should.) And the VP for Education scamper for alternatives. Of course, it's totally unfair to suddenly awaken some poor Toastie from his or her relaxed reverie to be pushed to deliver a (not-so) prepared speech. So, we end up with evenings with less than the ideal number of speakers. It's a waste too considering that we had to turn down other speakers in favor of those who reserved first.

Now, this is a long (and bitter) preamble to the real topic of this post. I really just want to share tips on preparing for your upcoming speech. It works around the excuse that you've been busy because the Assistant to the Regional Deputy Manager for Something Something is here in town and there is this gimongous convention and you've got so many reports and stuff and stuff and excuses excuses.

When you commit to speak two weeks from now, the first thing you do when you get home is to read about the speech project manual just before you sleep. Total time requirement: 5 minutes. And then you think of the best topic to match that project. You can do this in bed. You don't have to Google. You don't have to go to the National Library to find a life-changing, earth-shaking topic. Pick from a personal experience: a recent success, a recent loss, a recent problem, a joke that had you snorting bubbles, a conversation you had with your boss, a conversation you didn't have with that officemate you're lusting after, a TV show, anything. And then build up from there. You don't even have to write your speech down yet. But spend your last waking minutes thinking about your topic. Hopefully you dream about it. And pray you wake up with a great idea concerning your speech.

The next day is when you write the speech. You can write it word by word. Or you can make an outline. Take some tips from how Boom does it. But really, you've got to do it as soon after you make the commitment. Before you start feeling scared. Or lazy. Or wishy washy. Or before that email comes announcing the Assistant Regional Deputy Manager for Something Something is coming and you find a convenient excuse. Just do it. And then shoot an email with your speech ideas to your mentor asking him/her for feedback. Do not do this a week before, a night before, or an hour before your speech. You're giving Captain Murphy too much to work with.

Now, it's 12 days to your speech and your speech has shaped up a bit. Don't wait for it to be perfect. Start practicing it. Try out the first few lines in your head. And then when you're alone, or even when you're not, start rehearsing it aloud. In the shower is the best place for this. Good acoustics. And you can imagine the sound of splashing water as the sound of applause. And the Assistant to the Regional Deputy Whatever won't bother you while you're in the shower. That's at least 12 shower practice rounds. Double if you shower twice a day. More if you're a neatfreak. That's a lot of time to perfect the speech. I also do it while driving. Anytime during your daily commute. Who cares about the other people in the bus? They might even find it entertaining.

If you do this, you deliver a natural-sounding but well-rehearsed speech. You get one step closer to your next norm. You don't stress yourself, your mentor, and the VP Ed out. And everyone is happy, including you. Most especially you.

Because the point is if you're thinking you need to clear a couple of hours from your busy schedule to practice, it's not going to happen. You need to find pockets of time to rehearse. So you need to incorporate it into your routine. You need to multi-task. You need to repeat your speech a number of times to make it sound natural. You need to creatively use your existing time, busy or not. It also takes commitment.

I say start the process as soon as you can. Because when you realize 1 week before the meeting that you haven't done anything, that is the time you realize you probably won't be ready for your speech. That is the time when you call/text/YM/email/smoke signal the Vice President for Education that you can't deliver your speech. And the VP Ed can start looking for a replacement.

I hope you, Toasties, know where this is coming from. The officers are all committed to make every meeting a fun, fulfilling learning experience. But it takes everyone's cooperation and commitment to make it fun and not-so-frustrating for the officers as well.

Okay, now I've just got to say this before I end my emotional tirade -- even if the VP Education Post is one of the most challenging posts, it was my favorite TM job. Really. At the end of the term, I felt that I've become more organized, more creative, more patient, more persevering, more connected to the club and to other people outside the club, more prayerful, more fulfilled. Practicing to be a better communicator and leader ceases in this post; it becomes real.

Every speech you deliver is not just an opportunity to tick off a speech project. It's also an opportunity to hone your time management and leadership skills. An opportunity to test your commitment and sense of responsiblity. It's an opportunity to be the best possible communicator you can be.

February 12 Photos. Theme: Mentor, Teacher

Two icebreaker speeches that had the Toasties on their feet. Learning five languages in a 7 minutes. And lessons we can learn from ants. It was a great night for great speeches. Here are the photos to prove it: http://butterntoast.multiply.com/photos/album/13#

TOASTMASTERS SPEECH PROJECT NO. 6: THE CONTRADICTIONS AND CONNECTIONS BETWEEN PARENTING AND LEADING

THE CONTRADICTIONS AND CONNECTIONS BETWEEN PARENTING AND LEADING BY JUAN M. ROY

Is there a connection between leading and parenting?

Well, that may sound like asking for the connection between a book and a towel. It’s obvious, isn’t it? I mean, it’s obvious that the connection is not clear.
Philosophically speaking, you can always find a connection between two elements if you just open your eyes to possibilities. The connections can range from the silly to profound, from subtle to glaring.

For me, the connection between leading and parenting lies either at the influence of one over the other or at the hard choices we make in becoming good in one or the other or both. I like to focus on the latter.

At times, I ask myself, “Which is more fulfilling and meaningful– being a leader or being a parent?” What destiny is worth pursuing, becoming a respected leader or a model parent?” Mentally, I think the choice is obvious and easy. It’s both. Reality bites though. And it bites hard. Living up to that choice which is really hard for me, and I guess for anyone, too. Finding the right balance between leading and parenting presents a sort of prisoner’s dilemma where making one compete or cooperate with the other is easier said than done.

There are many situations which show the creative, if not destructive, tension between leading and parenting. I like to share some from my own experiences.
One time, I promised my six-year old son, Justin, that I would go home early that night to help him in his assignment and to read to him his favorite story. But then, a situation in the office required me to render overtime such that I can’t fulfill anymore my promise to Justin. I talked to him over the phone and tried to explain as best as I could why Daddy can’t go home early that night. He cried instantly. I tried to explain further, but the more I tried, the more his cries grow painfully louder. Then, I heard him say, with obvious disappointment in his sobbing voice, “You don’t have time for me anymore, Daddy. This is not the first time… I’l just go and see Mom..” I didn’t know what to say next. It was like the whole of The Enterprise Center where I was working fell on me that very moment.

That incident compelled me to reflect about the choices I make, about the values I uphold. And as I did my reflections, I saw ironies and contradictions. Yet, I also saw some connections. Suddenly, the seemingly blurred lines connecting parenting and leadership became more visible. My son’s words, though it cut deep like a sharp knife, also served as a cat’s eye guiding my path as I drive in a dark highway.
There I was, trying my best to become a good leader at work. In some ways, I have succeeded in becoming a good leader, but in many ways I failed in my role as a father.

As a Toastmaster, I try to develop myself to become a good communicator. But this I ask: a good communicator to whom? Do I make my kids part of the Toastmaster’s equation? If I become a good communicator to others but not to my own children, what does that make of me?

As a training professional, I teach myself and others how to become good leaders at work. If I become a good teacher of leadership at work, but I fail to impart the leadership values to my kids, what does that make of me?

I have facilitated a lot of workshops, helping others develop their organizational and personal mission and vision. What about my own? Way back in college, when I, as an ardent student leader, wrote what is still now my personal mission statement. “To make a difference in the lives of others through the power of my words and my voice” But now I started to ask myself: who are these others? Are my kids part of my mission?

As a fellow, I try to be kind to others. I show them the best in me. I have been known and praised for being a master of diplomacy and patience when dealing with others. But how hard do I really try to show patience and genuine respect to my kids, especially when they become unruly?

As a trainer, I teach others about emotional bank account, encouraging them to make more valuable deposits than withdrawals in their relationships with others. But as a parent, do I really, consciously, try to take an accounting of the deposits I make to my children? Now I remember one writer who said, “Each day of our lives we make deposits in the memory banks of our children.”

You see, I am not a perfect father. I cannot even say now that I am a good one. Only my sons can pass on that judgment. But it will be years from now, when they grow up and I grow old, when, either with a sense of regret, they will say “My Dad sucks; I wish I had another one” or with beaming smiles, they will boast, “Yeah, Dad’s cool and he rocks; I’m glad he’s my Dad.”

As I reflect on the connection between parenting and leading, I realize that I cannot be whole if I succeed in one but fails in the other. Their dichotomy is nothing but a self-made illusion. It’s like a natural cycle where each is connected to the other in a seamless flow. Now, it’s vividly clear to me than ever. Choosing between being a good parent or a good leader to others is the easiest one to make. The hardest, and only meaningful, choice is deciding to be good in both roles and finding the right way to live true to that decision. What is truly difficult, yet enriching and fulfilling, is making necessary compromises and sacrifices in each role but still managing to excel in both.

What my child taught me that fateful night is this: the true meaning of success has to be seen in the way I make a difference both in the lives of those I work with and those that I live with.
What about you?