by Gege C. Sugue
This “impromptu prepared” speech is an experimentation in giving. The inspiration for this is the article in our newsletter that was written by medical Doctor Morton Orman.
Dr. Orman prescribes solutions to the fear of public speaking by giving 10 principles to keep in mind. Two of these principles struck me where it hurt.
Principle no. 9 talks about the concept of over-preparation and how it can make our speeches worse. Principle no. 4 states that the main purpose of public speaking is giving.
My system rebelled against these two principles. They seemed to be anti-theses to my own public speaking principles.
Why is this doctor knocking preparation? I love preparation. For me, it is a requisite to success. And I make sure I invest time in preparing for my speeches and training workshops. I research diligently, prepare voluminous high-impact slides, polish my notes, and prepare a full-on word-by-word script for my delivery. I rehearse obessively, and then when I deliver I give it my all. I hate it when I get something wrong. I castigate myself when I forget something. I can be really unforgiving to myself.
And now, I need to grapple with the idea that maybe I prepare too much. So tonight’s speech is the experimentation. I stand here, two weeks premature for my scheduled speech, 8 hours after deciding I’m going to take the free speaking slot, no script, just a hastily scrawled outline. This experimentation will prove or disprove Dr. Orman’s theory.
Yet, I have to ask my evaluator, Ed, to still judge me based on the manual.
Because I am not endorsing mediocrity or substandard performance. I want to see this principle work. I am the last person to encourage you not to prepare. Preparation is our responsibility to our audience, our clients, the people and companies we represent. But preparation is meant to liberate us, give us confidence, enable us to deliver speeches and training programs with sheer joy.
Preparation is not meant to enslave us to perfection.
As to Dr. Orman’s idea that public speaking is about giving something of value to your audience, rather than getting something out of the deal, it’s a new way of thinking for me. For me, public speaking is about getting paid to do a good job. It’s about achieving excellence. Being the best. Having outstanding evaluations. It’s about impressing the audience.
And then two days ago, I had to train a group of Persons With Disabilities (PWD). And as I was preparing for the workshop, I realized I could not use most of the interactive gimmicks I had in mind, because of the participants’ physical limitations. I also had to keep the lessons basic to help those whose language proficiency is rudimentary.
No gimmicks, just the basics – these restrictions forced me to take a hard look at the program I was developing. And then it dawned on me that I am teaching these people to write letters, proposals, reports, not so they can prepare glossy brochures, or so that they can increase their profit and grow to be a top 500 company. These learners need to write letters and proposals that can enable blind people to work for more than one day a week, or help a person in a wheelchair get from Cubao to Makati in a wheelchair. So as I started the training day, I prayed. Normally, I would pray, “Lord, help me do this job well.” This time, my prayer was, “Lord help me help these learners learn something that will make their lives better.”
Normally, I’d end a training day tired, with just enough energy to wait for the praise. Sometimes I’d get the praise I crave for, and I’d get an emotional high. Sometimes, I would get a rather cold response and I would feel depressed. Either way, I would be physically spent, exhausted. But last Tuesday, when I trained to give, not to get, I finished the day, fulfilled, energetic, and emotionally rewarded.
The experiment worked.
So the two main points of this speech are these: One is that preparation is our friend, not the enemy that slaves us. Two, public speaking is not about getting praise, respect, fame, money. It is about giving something of value to your audience.
There are two things I encourage you, then, to do.
The first one, in one word is: Speak!
You have something to say that is of value to someone. Speak up. You have what it takes – your voice, your body, your mind – the 3 components that enable you to express yourselves. And in Toastmasters, you are given ample talk time. Don’t waste these opportunities. Speak. Do not worry about getting it perfect. Do not be afraid of messing up. Share what is in your heart. Don’t stay in your little corner whining about how bad this world, this life is. Move yourself. And move others with your ideas. Just speak.
The second thing I want you to do is this: Let other people speak.
Last night I had a conversation that revealed to me just how cruelly unfair, uneven, the public speaking playing field is. Some of us, and I consider myself one of those, are just blessed. Blessed with wealth, education, social privilege, travel opportunities, and so we’ve grown to be articulate, comfortable, confident in speaking a foreign language.
Some are just plain gifted, with fathers and grandfathers who were orators, politicians, writers, and educators. So the communication genes run through them.
But some just do not have all the breaks. Some come from environments where speaking is not encouraged. Some were educated by teachers who cannot even speak one grammatically correct sentence. Some have funny intonations, regional accents. Some are timid because they have been told they are not good enough and their opinions don't matter. Some have too much excess energy that drives them to over gesticulate.
But so what? These do not disqualify them from the right to speak. I urge you to let them speak.
Yes, we have standards. But standards are meant to help us set visions for self-improvement. They are meant for us to help others become better. They are not meant to be use for judging who can speak and who cannot, who can start a Toastmasters Club and who should not.
ATD, All Together for Development, is an NGO. They do not give out money, nor relief goods. They provide the venue for the poorest of the poor, the ones with the least power and the smallest voice, to speak out. Aling Tita, who is so poor she lives in a cemetery, was given a chance to speak in New York to an audience that included UN Director General, Kofi Anam. I don’t know what she said. I don’t know if her grammar was perfect or her diction was correct. But her speech moved Kofi Anam to tears. And I am willing to bet he was moved not by a grammatically correct speech, but by a message that came from the heart.
Friends, I encourage you to speak. It's your right, privilege, gift. It's your responsibility. And more importantly, open your eyes, ears, hearts, minds, and please let other people speak.
Friday, October 27, 2006
Friday, October 20, 2006
Winning with Words - Basic Speech #6 (Working with Words)
by Gege Sugue
(Darkness)
Booming Voice: Let there be light! (Turn on lights.)
With 4 little words, the world began. Such is the power of words.
We do not have to be God to wield words of power. Every day, mortals like us speak words that have the power to make things happen, to change our lives and the lives of others.
One of the richest, wisest kings who ever walked the earth once said, “Death and life are in the power of the tongue.” (Prov 18:21) The words of our mouth have the power to kill and the power to give life.
Take the story of Kate Couric, CBS evening news anchor and managing editor. In fourth grade, a teacher scolded her in front of the class and told her in disgust, “Katie, you smile too much.” Those words embarrassed her and almost killed the spirit behind that smile. She carried those words and the unease in her mind and her heart the whole day. It’s a good thing that that night, she was able to talk to her father who uttered words that she would remember for the rest of her life. Her father said, “Just use her words to your advantage.” And so she followed her father’s advice. When she ran for student council presidency, she started her speech by saying, “Hello. My name is Katie Couric. People wonder why I am always smiling. It’s because I am happy. Happy to go to such a wonderful school. Yes, Jamestown is a wonderful school and I’d like to keep it that way.” Her father’s words gave life to Katie Couric’s dreams.
Even as an adult, Katie remembered her father’s words. These words have helped her time and again throughout her life. And now, as the first female solo anchor of a major TV network evening newscast in the United States, she certainly has a lot more to smile about.
Ladies and Gentlemen, our words have power. Think back to when you were a kid, playing and running around. And your mom would shout, Oh, you’re going to fall! And true enough a minute later, you will be down on your knees. The power of words.
Before we set about doing anything, we always verbalize it first. We tell ourselves or someone else, “I’m going to have the cheeseburger.” Or I’m going to have a haircut this weekend.” “I’m going to bungee jump.” I’m going to marry this woman.” “No matter how busy I am, I’m going to prepare this speech and deliver 1 speech a month so I can be a Competent Communicator by yearend.” “I’m going to sit here and mope because I’m depressed.” Chances are, we will do exactly what we say we’ll do.”
The apostle James compared our tongue to the little rudder that directs a big ship. The words we say will determine the direction and orientation of our lives. The power of our words can bring us to the next level of success or limit us from getting anywhere, or worse, even doom us to failure. So watch your words. If you keep telling yourself, you’re a loser, then you can bet on it – you will lose. As for me, I start my days saying, “I can do everything through Christ who is in me. I work hard. I do what is right. I work as if I work for God, not for men, and so I will succeed. God will bless the works of my hands.” When I am confronted with problems that seem overwhelming, I tell myself that Jesus has overcome the world, and He has given me the power to overcome. I will overcome.”
To win in life, even against all odds, we have to use the power of words.
Now, how about the words we speak to others? How can we enable others to win in life as well?
I propose the ACE formula. ACE is the acrostic for the 3 steps to help others with our words. A is Affirmation. C is for Correction. E stands for Encouragement.
Affirmation means simply a declaration of truth. Correction is the act of pointing out errors so the person will not do them again. And encouragement means inspiring others with courage.
Let me demonstrate an example. Let’s say, my friend XXX is an excellent speaker, but I hate it that she always uses the word irregardless, which is a not a word at all, for it has double negative pronouns. Using the ACE approach, I can start with affirmation. XXX, you know, I really liked your speech the other night. I like the way you organized your ideas and I love the passion you have for your topic. I think you have what it takes to be a competitor for the next speech contest. There is one word, though, that you use that really bothers me. When you use the word, irregardless, I find it hard to concentrate on the rest of your speech. And I’m afraid that other people in the audience, especially the judges, might feel the same way. The correct word is “regardless.” If you can overcome that minor language glitch, I think you’ll do very well. I encourage you to keep practicing because I believe that you will be able to inspire others with your passion and your drive for excellence.”
This ACE approach uses the power of positive words to help others win in life.
On the other hand, we can also abuse the power of the words we use. To remember the words
that can damage or kill lives and spirits, I devised an acrostic – LOSER. L stands for lies. No one wins when the truth is misrepresented. O represents Offensive Language. When we use curse words, when we use sexist, racist, prejudicial words, we hurt instead of help. S stands for slander, which is the act of speaking against others. Yes, it is still slanderous even if it is the truth, when our objective is to kill the reputation of others. E is Envy. Envious words are counterproductive. The success of others should not make us bitter, but should instead inspire us to do even better. And R means Reviling, which is synonymous to Insulting. By reviling someone, we are murdering somebody’s dreams and self esteem. When we lie, speak offensively, slander, envy, and revile others, we abuse the power of words.
So, let me recap the 3 points of my speech. First point is that our words carry tremendous power – the power of life and death. The second point is that words have the power to make us and others win in life. The third point is that we can abuse the power of words when we use them to bring other people down and kill their dreams and self worth.
As a closing thought, I believe that words are outward manifestation of what is in our hearts. Jesus, who is the Word made flesh, teaches us in the book of Luke that “out of the abundance of the heart the mouth speaks”. If we are just mouthing positive words, we are just being hypocritical, and we will soon run out. But if our hearts overflow with affirmation and encouragement, then our mouths will be speaking words of power. How do we fill our hearts?
With God’s Words. Psalm 19 says that God’s Word is perfect, reviving the soul; trustworthy, making the simple wise. His Words are right, giving joy to the heart. They’re radiant, giving light to the eyes.
With this book in your hand, and God’s words in your heart, we can win in life. (darkness) With this book in your hand, and God’s words in your heart, even in the darkest of hours, there will be light. (flashlight effect)
(Darkness)
Booming Voice: Let there be light! (Turn on lights.)
With 4 little words, the world began. Such is the power of words.
We do not have to be God to wield words of power. Every day, mortals like us speak words that have the power to make things happen, to change our lives and the lives of others.
One of the richest, wisest kings who ever walked the earth once said, “Death and life are in the power of the tongue.” (Prov 18:21) The words of our mouth have the power to kill and the power to give life.
Take the story of Kate Couric, CBS evening news anchor and managing editor. In fourth grade, a teacher scolded her in front of the class and told her in disgust, “Katie, you smile too much.” Those words embarrassed her and almost killed the spirit behind that smile. She carried those words and the unease in her mind and her heart the whole day. It’s a good thing that that night, she was able to talk to her father who uttered words that she would remember for the rest of her life. Her father said, “Just use her words to your advantage.” And so she followed her father’s advice. When she ran for student council presidency, she started her speech by saying, “Hello. My name is Katie Couric. People wonder why I am always smiling. It’s because I am happy. Happy to go to such a wonderful school. Yes, Jamestown is a wonderful school and I’d like to keep it that way.” Her father’s words gave life to Katie Couric’s dreams.
Even as an adult, Katie remembered her father’s words. These words have helped her time and again throughout her life. And now, as the first female solo anchor of a major TV network evening newscast in the United States, she certainly has a lot more to smile about.
Ladies and Gentlemen, our words have power. Think back to when you were a kid, playing and running around. And your mom would shout, Oh, you’re going to fall! And true enough a minute later, you will be down on your knees. The power of words.
Before we set about doing anything, we always verbalize it first. We tell ourselves or someone else, “I’m going to have the cheeseburger.” Or I’m going to have a haircut this weekend.” “I’m going to bungee jump.” I’m going to marry this woman.” “No matter how busy I am, I’m going to prepare this speech and deliver 1 speech a month so I can be a Competent Communicator by yearend.” “I’m going to sit here and mope because I’m depressed.” Chances are, we will do exactly what we say we’ll do.”
The apostle James compared our tongue to the little rudder that directs a big ship. The words we say will determine the direction and orientation of our lives. The power of our words can bring us to the next level of success or limit us from getting anywhere, or worse, even doom us to failure. So watch your words. If you keep telling yourself, you’re a loser, then you can bet on it – you will lose. As for me, I start my days saying, “I can do everything through Christ who is in me. I work hard. I do what is right. I work as if I work for God, not for men, and so I will succeed. God will bless the works of my hands.” When I am confronted with problems that seem overwhelming, I tell myself that Jesus has overcome the world, and He has given me the power to overcome. I will overcome.”
To win in life, even against all odds, we have to use the power of words.
Now, how about the words we speak to others? How can we enable others to win in life as well?
I propose the ACE formula. ACE is the acrostic for the 3 steps to help others with our words. A is Affirmation. C is for Correction. E stands for Encouragement.
Affirmation means simply a declaration of truth. Correction is the act of pointing out errors so the person will not do them again. And encouragement means inspiring others with courage.
Let me demonstrate an example. Let’s say, my friend XXX is an excellent speaker, but I hate it that she always uses the word irregardless, which is a not a word at all, for it has double negative pronouns. Using the ACE approach, I can start with affirmation. XXX, you know, I really liked your speech the other night. I like the way you organized your ideas and I love the passion you have for your topic. I think you have what it takes to be a competitor for the next speech contest. There is one word, though, that you use that really bothers me. When you use the word, irregardless, I find it hard to concentrate on the rest of your speech. And I’m afraid that other people in the audience, especially the judges, might feel the same way. The correct word is “regardless.” If you can overcome that minor language glitch, I think you’ll do very well. I encourage you to keep practicing because I believe that you will be able to inspire others with your passion and your drive for excellence.”
This ACE approach uses the power of positive words to help others win in life.
On the other hand, we can also abuse the power of the words we use. To remember the words
that can damage or kill lives and spirits, I devised an acrostic – LOSER. L stands for lies. No one wins when the truth is misrepresented. O represents Offensive Language. When we use curse words, when we use sexist, racist, prejudicial words, we hurt instead of help. S stands for slander, which is the act of speaking against others. Yes, it is still slanderous even if it is the truth, when our objective is to kill the reputation of others. E is Envy. Envious words are counterproductive. The success of others should not make us bitter, but should instead inspire us to do even better. And R means Reviling, which is synonymous to Insulting. By reviling someone, we are murdering somebody’s dreams and self esteem. When we lie, speak offensively, slander, envy, and revile others, we abuse the power of words.
So, let me recap the 3 points of my speech. First point is that our words carry tremendous power – the power of life and death. The second point is that words have the power to make us and others win in life. The third point is that we can abuse the power of words when we use them to bring other people down and kill their dreams and self worth.
As a closing thought, I believe that words are outward manifestation of what is in our hearts. Jesus, who is the Word made flesh, teaches us in the book of Luke that “out of the abundance of the heart the mouth speaks”. If we are just mouthing positive words, we are just being hypocritical, and we will soon run out. But if our hearts overflow with affirmation and encouragement, then our mouths will be speaking words of power. How do we fill our hearts?
With God’s Words. Psalm 19 says that God’s Word is perfect, reviving the soul; trustworthy, making the simple wise. His Words are right, giving joy to the heart. They’re radiant, giving light to the eyes.
With this book in your hand, and God’s words in your heart, we can win in life. (darkness) With this book in your hand, and God’s words in your heart, even in the darkest of hours, there will be light. (flashlight effect)
Thursday, October 19, 2006
Excerpts from the BnT Fortnight, Oct. 12
BnT Club Officers Attend a Simply Amazing Conference
Toastmasters all over the country gathered in one weekend of fun and learning last October 7 and 8 at the picturesque site of Meralco Management Development & Leadership Center (MMDLC), Antipolo City. The mid-year conference, a tradition that started four years ago, proved to be another successful event in the history of Philippine Toastmasters.
One of the highlights of the conference was the Quartethlon Speech Contest, a competition where a contestant competes in four categories – singing, speech evaluation, impromptu speech and prepared speech (focus on gestures). Our Division’s representative, CTM RJ Laguardia, emerged as the 1st runner up winner in the overall Quartethlon Speech Contest. He won the champion trophy in the speech evaluation contest and placed 1st runner-up both in the impromptu speech and singing contests. ATM-S Jonathan Yogawin from Pines Toastmasters Club (Division G) is the overall champion while CTM Leandro Ilagan of Davao Noontime Toastmasters Club (Division E) achieved the 2nd runner up award.
Another highlight of the conference was the President’s night, which honored International President DTM Johnny Pawe Uy. It was an entertaining night of roasting and toasting, which culminated with an inspiring speech from the International President.
Not to be missed were the educational sessions facilitated by DTM Gina Mapua and TM Louie Banta.
The first session is a judging seminar that featured several international champions in public speaking. DTM Gina Mapua discussed the strengths or the winning factor of each speaker in terms of content, organization and delivery.
The second session is a leadership talk entitled, “Making the L.E.A.P. to Leadership”. The facilitator, TM Louie Banta, talked about leadership in terms of Learning, Exposure, Ability to Make a Mark, and Personal Development.
BnT Officers Jazz Encarnacion, Ed Ebreo, Mar Sy, and Gege Sugue attended the event and found it to be a great learning experience.
Other highlights of the conference are the spectacular venue, good food and the warm friendship and camaraderie shared with the other Toastmasters. The event concluded with a community singing of the Toastmasters version of the song “Pinoy Ako”. It’s definitely a simply amazing conference!
- by Jazz Encarnacion, ATMS, CL
Club Milestones
Two goals down! 8 to go.
Achieving Distinguished Club standing contributes to providing members an environment for learning and gaining confidence. In desiring to provide this kind of environment to its members, BnT is aiming to accomplish 9 or all of 10 goals, which will earn us a President’s Distinguished Club Award.
By attending the educational session at the Mid-Year Conference, and the Officers’ Training last July, we have just accomplished Goal # 9, which requires that a minimum of four club members be trained during each of two training periods.
We have also recently accomplished Goal # 10, which involves the timely submission of membership and officer list reports.
Way to go, Toasties! Our dedication to excellence will drive us to work together to meet the other goals.
Chill, It's Only A Speech
When I arrived at the meeting last week, I was amused and amazed to see one of the speakers for the evening casually sprawled on the chair, looking like all is well in his world. “What’s wrong with him? Why is he not a bundle of nerves, the way I tend to be just before delivering a speech project? Doesn’t he realize that he is just about to get in front and take the risk of making a fool of himself?”
As it turned out, Ed Ebreo did a great job of playing the fool. And that was even part of his speech. He poked fun at the zombies and weirdos who attend training workshops in a condition he calls, “Dead on Arrival”. By demonstrating character sketches and using humor to engage the audience, he drove his message well. And he showed me that one need not arrive dead with dread to deliver a great speech.
So, how do we keep our cool before a speech? First, is to recognize that your fear does not make you a freak. Author and Communication trainer Raju Mandhyan explains that the fear of public speaking is normal. There’s this part in our brain called the amygdala, which is ruled not by logic but by irrational emotions like passion, fear, and rage. (Yes, girls, that’s also the part of our brain that drives us to starve so we can buy that fabulous bag from Rustans.) The amygdala triggers a “fight or flight” mechanism that causes sweaty palms, increased heartbeat, dry mouth, and knocking knees. Not the kind of symptoms you want your evaluator to notice.
There are helpful techniques we can use to keep cool before and during a speech. Raju’s prescription involves the 3 P’s: planning, preparing, and practicing. Other public speakers recommend deep breathing, hydration, prayer, meditation, visualization, and sometimes just faking the confidence by standing tall and smiling.
As for Ed, he keeps his cool by dispelling any expectations of perfection. Come to think of it, perfection is an impossible goal for anyone and so it sets us up for failure. Even for the best speakers, there is always room for improvement. Ed’s mindset is one focused on doing one’s best and learning from mistakes. He thinks to himself, “If I fail in this speech, what’s the worst that could happen? I will get a bad review; I will learn and do better next time.” Funny, that his approach to public speaking cooldom is in itself an act of courage – the courage to face falling short of perfection.
As we prepare for our next speech, obsessing how to make it perfect, let’s remember all the wise advice above. Preparation, practice, a glass of water, and setting reasonable self expectations are great ingredients for keeping your cool and confidence in public speaking.
- by Gege Sugue
You can also visit Ed Ebreo’s blog at: http://anythinghr.blogspot.com.
Check out Raju Mandhyan’s articles at: www.mandhyan.com
Business Matters:
KEEP YOUR NAME IN THE ROSTER.
Yes, it’s fun attending the meetings and we really enjoy your company. We love it when you rave about the food we serve. And you did really great in that last speech you delivered and the last role you played. But do those things make you an official club member? Does staying in the garage turn you into a car?
We answer “No” to both questions. But, being a member is easier than becoming magically converted into a flashy sedan. All it takes is paying up the semestral fees of P2,226.00, which we all agree is a great investment with simply amazing returns. Your name stays on the official roster, you continue receiving those super helpful magazines, and you get credit for the projects you deliver. Plus you help keep our Treasurer’s life stress-free. Now, isn’t that a good deal?
MEET YOUR PERSONAL GOALS AND HELP BnT REACH ITS CLUB GOALS.
The response to our call for submitting your personal meeting schedule was so …what’s the word…underwhelming! Come on, guys! Let’s show more bravura! Let’s exhibit that BnT zeal for learning and excelling!
Please submit the Meeting Schedule form sent out by VP Ed Gege Sugue by email. This will help us schedule your speeches, and will serve as reminder to prepare for your .future speeches.
Toastmasters all over the country gathered in one weekend of fun and learning last October 7 and 8 at the picturesque site of Meralco Management Development & Leadership Center (MMDLC), Antipolo City. The mid-year conference, a tradition that started four years ago, proved to be another successful event in the history of Philippine Toastmasters.
One of the highlights of the conference was the Quartethlon Speech Contest, a competition where a contestant competes in four categories – singing, speech evaluation, impromptu speech and prepared speech (focus on gestures). Our Division’s representative, CTM RJ Laguardia, emerged as the 1st runner up winner in the overall Quartethlon Speech Contest. He won the champion trophy in the speech evaluation contest and placed 1st runner-up both in the impromptu speech and singing contests. ATM-S Jonathan Yogawin from Pines Toastmasters Club (Division G) is the overall champion while CTM Leandro Ilagan of Davao Noontime Toastmasters Club (Division E) achieved the 2nd runner up award.
Another highlight of the conference was the President’s night, which honored International President DTM Johnny Pawe Uy. It was an entertaining night of roasting and toasting, which culminated with an inspiring speech from the International President.
Not to be missed were the educational sessions facilitated by DTM Gina Mapua and TM Louie Banta.
The first session is a judging seminar that featured several international champions in public speaking. DTM Gina Mapua discussed the strengths or the winning factor of each speaker in terms of content, organization and delivery.
The second session is a leadership talk entitled, “Making the L.E.A.P. to Leadership”. The facilitator, TM Louie Banta, talked about leadership in terms of Learning, Exposure, Ability to Make a Mark, and Personal Development.
BnT Officers Jazz Encarnacion, Ed Ebreo, Mar Sy, and Gege Sugue attended the event and found it to be a great learning experience.
Other highlights of the conference are the spectacular venue, good food and the warm friendship and camaraderie shared with the other Toastmasters. The event concluded with a community singing of the Toastmasters version of the song “Pinoy Ako”. It’s definitely a simply amazing conference!
- by Jazz Encarnacion, ATMS, CL
Club Milestones
Two goals down! 8 to go.
Achieving Distinguished Club standing contributes to providing members an environment for learning and gaining confidence. In desiring to provide this kind of environment to its members, BnT is aiming to accomplish 9 or all of 10 goals, which will earn us a President’s Distinguished Club Award.
By attending the educational session at the Mid-Year Conference, and the Officers’ Training last July, we have just accomplished Goal # 9, which requires that a minimum of four club members be trained during each of two training periods.
We have also recently accomplished Goal # 10, which involves the timely submission of membership and officer list reports.
Way to go, Toasties! Our dedication to excellence will drive us to work together to meet the other goals.
Chill, It's Only A Speech
When I arrived at the meeting last week, I was amused and amazed to see one of the speakers for the evening casually sprawled on the chair, looking like all is well in his world. “What’s wrong with him? Why is he not a bundle of nerves, the way I tend to be just before delivering a speech project? Doesn’t he realize that he is just about to get in front and take the risk of making a fool of himself?”
As it turned out, Ed Ebreo did a great job of playing the fool. And that was even part of his speech. He poked fun at the zombies and weirdos who attend training workshops in a condition he calls, “Dead on Arrival”. By demonstrating character sketches and using humor to engage the audience, he drove his message well. And he showed me that one need not arrive dead with dread to deliver a great speech.
So, how do we keep our cool before a speech? First, is to recognize that your fear does not make you a freak. Author and Communication trainer Raju Mandhyan explains that the fear of public speaking is normal. There’s this part in our brain called the amygdala, which is ruled not by logic but by irrational emotions like passion, fear, and rage. (Yes, girls, that’s also the part of our brain that drives us to starve so we can buy that fabulous bag from Rustans.) The amygdala triggers a “fight or flight” mechanism that causes sweaty palms, increased heartbeat, dry mouth, and knocking knees. Not the kind of symptoms you want your evaluator to notice.
There are helpful techniques we can use to keep cool before and during a speech. Raju’s prescription involves the 3 P’s: planning, preparing, and practicing. Other public speakers recommend deep breathing, hydration, prayer, meditation, visualization, and sometimes just faking the confidence by standing tall and smiling.
As for Ed, he keeps his cool by dispelling any expectations of perfection. Come to think of it, perfection is an impossible goal for anyone and so it sets us up for failure. Even for the best speakers, there is always room for improvement. Ed’s mindset is one focused on doing one’s best and learning from mistakes. He thinks to himself, “If I fail in this speech, what’s the worst that could happen? I will get a bad review; I will learn and do better next time.” Funny, that his approach to public speaking cooldom is in itself an act of courage – the courage to face falling short of perfection.
As we prepare for our next speech, obsessing how to make it perfect, let’s remember all the wise advice above. Preparation, practice, a glass of water, and setting reasonable self expectations are great ingredients for keeping your cool and confidence in public speaking.
- by Gege Sugue
You can also visit Ed Ebreo’s blog at: http://anythinghr.blogspot.com.
Check out Raju Mandhyan’s articles at: www.mandhyan.com
Business Matters:
KEEP YOUR NAME IN THE ROSTER.
Yes, it’s fun attending the meetings and we really enjoy your company. We love it when you rave about the food we serve. And you did really great in that last speech you delivered and the last role you played. But do those things make you an official club member? Does staying in the garage turn you into a car?
We answer “No” to both questions. But, being a member is easier than becoming magically converted into a flashy sedan. All it takes is paying up the semestral fees of P2,226.00, which we all agree is a great investment with simply amazing returns. Your name stays on the official roster, you continue receiving those super helpful magazines, and you get credit for the projects you deliver. Plus you help keep our Treasurer’s life stress-free. Now, isn’t that a good deal?
MEET YOUR PERSONAL GOALS AND HELP BnT REACH ITS CLUB GOALS.
The response to our call for submitting your personal meeting schedule was so …what’s the word…underwhelming! Come on, guys! Let’s show more bravura! Let’s exhibit that BnT zeal for learning and excelling!
Please submit the Meeting Schedule form sent out by VP Ed Gege Sugue by email. This will help us schedule your speeches, and will serve as reminder to prepare for your .future speeches.
Tuesday, October 17, 2006
Aftermath of the Storm
by Sheila dela Cruz
Do you remember this? (Show pics …)
These pictures were taken two weeks ago when typhoon "Milenyo" (international name: “Xangsane”) hit the Philippines.
Milenyo shuts down Metro
Typhoon batters Metro Manila, Bicol
Strongest typhoon in 11 years
3 more weeks before full power
Stories, and more sad stories... :( I’m sure everyone here has heard or read of some sad stories related to the storm, but you know, the stories hit closer to home when it affects people we know.
Two friends of mine are originally from Bicol, and they still have family there. Of one friend, part of their roof covering their living room, was blown off during the height of the storm. The other friend? The only thing left of their home after the storm, was the floor! His mom, is still probably reeling, and crying her eyes out from losing their ancestral home. And understandably so.
Our laundry lady also had a sad story to tell. She tearfully related to me that her family doesn’t have a home anymore, as it was blown away by the typhoon. Right now, she and her 3 kids are living in the garage of another home, and saving up money to buy materials to build a new home.
While all this was playing out in the real world, I was in bed reading a book. My kids were downstairs playing board games, and when electricity went out, and the wind was howling so eerily and loudly, I decided to go downstairs and cuddle (take note, cuddle and NOT huddle) with my kids. It was like a vacation for us! Not having a radio, we knew little of the havoc typhoon "Milenyo" was unleashing that very moment. It was only much later, while watching the nightly news did we see the damage wrought on so many areas, that we truly realized how lucky we were.
We heard stories about people whose homes were damaged, people getting hurt, but what hurt most to hear, were how people died, or LOST their homes or loved ones.
If anything, what did this storm teach us?
First, it taught us that DISASTERS happen… Whether you live in the posh villages of Makati, or in the shanties around Metro Manila, disasters do happen, and CAN affect each one of us.
Second, it taught us that it pays to prepare. The time to fix that leaky roof was not during the storm but before the storm! You don’t go to the grocery to buy candles or flashlights during the blackout, do you?
Then lastly, it taught us that we need to move on after we are hit, no matter what the damage, because as they say, LIFE GOES ON.
And speaking of LIFE, natural disasters are not the only STORMS that we need to weather in life! Because aside from disasters wrought by nature, there are disasters wrought by emotional trials, such as illness, accident, loss.
All of which are results of living in an imperfect, broken world. Sooner or later, illness, accidents OR loss eventually touch our lives. These are the STORMS that we can NEVER really prepare for.
So what do we do when faced with emotional trials or storms? Personally, I feel that it is important to remember 3 things.
FIRST - When disaster knocks at your door, vent your grief. Man, woman, child, we all should let go of the thinking that crying is a sign of weakness. It is no secret that men compared to women, are prone to bottle feelings up and refuse to cry even when faced with the worst of situations. BUT tears wash the bitterness from within. They purge deep feelings of resentment from the walls of our hearts. So, yes, it is okay to cry.
SECOND - Refuse to be bitter. Stand up, brush the negativity off, pick up the pieces, and move on… I know that’s easier said than done. But remember the saying, whatever doesn’t kill us, will only make us stronger.
THIRD - Rely upon the Lord to be your strength. Nahum Chapter 1, Verse 7 states, “The LORD is good, a refuge in times of trouble. He cares for those who trust in him”. Another one of my favorite quotes is, “If GOD brings us to it, HE will bring us through it”. Truly, FAITH and prayer helps.
There's probably nothing that will prepare us for personal tragedies. But know and accept that these emotional storms caused by failures OR loss, can happen to anyone, at any time. We need to be strong enough to withstand them not just for ourselves, but for the sake of other people who care for us, and who rely on us. Knowing that should give us the necessary foundation to withstand ANY storm – whether brought on my nature, or by personal tragedy.
Remember, how we handle ourselves in the worst of situations will determine if the lives we lead is one of bitterness, or acceptance.
Good evening.
Do you remember this? (Show pics …)
These pictures were taken two weeks ago when typhoon "Milenyo" (international name: “Xangsane”) hit the Philippines.
Milenyo shuts down Metro
Typhoon batters Metro Manila, Bicol
Strongest typhoon in 11 years
3 more weeks before full power
Stories, and more sad stories... :( I’m sure everyone here has heard or read of some sad stories related to the storm, but you know, the stories hit closer to home when it affects people we know.
Two friends of mine are originally from Bicol, and they still have family there. Of one friend, part of their roof covering their living room, was blown off during the height of the storm. The other friend? The only thing left of their home after the storm, was the floor! His mom, is still probably reeling, and crying her eyes out from losing their ancestral home. And understandably so.
Our laundry lady also had a sad story to tell. She tearfully related to me that her family doesn’t have a home anymore, as it was blown away by the typhoon. Right now, she and her 3 kids are living in the garage of another home, and saving up money to buy materials to build a new home.
While all this was playing out in the real world, I was in bed reading a book. My kids were downstairs playing board games, and when electricity went out, and the wind was howling so eerily and loudly, I decided to go downstairs and cuddle (take note, cuddle and NOT huddle) with my kids. It was like a vacation for us! Not having a radio, we knew little of the havoc typhoon "Milenyo" was unleashing that very moment. It was only much later, while watching the nightly news did we see the damage wrought on so many areas, that we truly realized how lucky we were.
We heard stories about people whose homes were damaged, people getting hurt, but what hurt most to hear, were how people died, or LOST their homes or loved ones.
If anything, what did this storm teach us?
First, it taught us that DISASTERS happen… Whether you live in the posh villages of Makati, or in the shanties around Metro Manila, disasters do happen, and CAN affect each one of us.
Second, it taught us that it pays to prepare. The time to fix that leaky roof was not during the storm but before the storm! You don’t go to the grocery to buy candles or flashlights during the blackout, do you?
Then lastly, it taught us that we need to move on after we are hit, no matter what the damage, because as they say, LIFE GOES ON.
And speaking of LIFE, natural disasters are not the only STORMS that we need to weather in life! Because aside from disasters wrought by nature, there are disasters wrought by emotional trials, such as illness, accident, loss.
All of which are results of living in an imperfect, broken world. Sooner or later, illness, accidents OR loss eventually touch our lives. These are the STORMS that we can NEVER really prepare for.
So what do we do when faced with emotional trials or storms? Personally, I feel that it is important to remember 3 things.
FIRST - When disaster knocks at your door, vent your grief. Man, woman, child, we all should let go of the thinking that crying is a sign of weakness. It is no secret that men compared to women, are prone to bottle feelings up and refuse to cry even when faced with the worst of situations. BUT tears wash the bitterness from within. They purge deep feelings of resentment from the walls of our hearts. So, yes, it is okay to cry.
SECOND - Refuse to be bitter. Stand up, brush the negativity off, pick up the pieces, and move on… I know that’s easier said than done. But remember the saying, whatever doesn’t kill us, will only make us stronger.
THIRD - Rely upon the Lord to be your strength. Nahum Chapter 1, Verse 7 states, “The LORD is good, a refuge in times of trouble. He cares for those who trust in him”. Another one of my favorite quotes is, “If GOD brings us to it, HE will bring us through it”. Truly, FAITH and prayer helps.
There's probably nothing that will prepare us for personal tragedies. But know and accept that these emotional storms caused by failures OR loss, can happen to anyone, at any time. We need to be strong enough to withstand them not just for ourselves, but for the sake of other people who care for us, and who rely on us. Knowing that should give us the necessary foundation to withstand ANY storm – whether brought on my nature, or by personal tragedy.
Remember, how we handle ourselves in the worst of situations will determine if the lives we lead is one of bitterness, or acceptance.
Good evening.
Saturday, October 14, 2006
Break the Rules by Edwin C. Ebreo: Speech # 10
Rules are important; they bring order to this world; they help keep us sane and from killing each other. People go to great lengths to impose the rules. They write laws, books and guidelines. People protect them. They preach, warn, and punish just to ensure compliance. When we were children, our parents made the choice clear, follow the rules or feel the stick. Schools taught us to memorize the right answer and gave us 6,975 tests and quizzes to make sure we know them. At work, we are taught how to do things and then they expect us to follow their lead. They don’t say “this has always been how we do things; it’s up to you to decide how you want to do it”. No! It’s their way or the highway!
There is however a good deal of contradiction between following rules and greatness. Great people didn’t become what they are by following rules, they make their own even if they pay a high price for it. Galileo was deemed crazy and a heretic, Columbus was ridiculed, Bill Gates, well, Bill Gates became a billionaire. These men of history proved that some rules are meant to be broken and that for most of them it pays to break them. Some men broke some rules to make this world better. I would forever be indebted to the person who broke the rules about beach attires and invented the bikini… but not as much as the man who made earth-bound human beings fly via the airplane.
Wait; don’t go about breaking rules yet. You must learn to differentiate breaking rules that lead you to the bank from the ones that deservingly lead you to prison. There are also rules for breaking rules you know and here they are:
Believe that there are many correct answers – From elementary school to college, we’ve been taught that 1 + 1 = 2, My kindergarten teacher taught me to color the sky blue and the grass green when I draw. I heard of one who had a different answer. He colored his sky violet and the grass gray. When he was told it's wrong, he asked “why, that’s how I see the sky during sunset”. There are many correct answers, and sometimes, the second, third or fourth correct answer is the one that breaks the rule big time! Emilie Chartier said “Nothing is more dangerous than an idea when it is the only one we have.” Next time you are challenged by a problem, ask yourself questions that require plural answers, what are the solutions rather than what is the solution.
Know that it does not make sense to say that it does not make sense – People like to reject new ideas like a body rejecting a strange protein. I think it was One of the Warner Brothers who said “who wants to hear actors talk?” during the time of silent movies. We've been fond of saying “it does not make sense’ when we hear ideas that are out of whack or seemingly out of this world. I wonder how many of them were heard by Einstein, or Edison or the guy who invented golf.
Be ready to challenge the rules - Do you know why the keyboard in your computer is arranged that way? That’s because when the type writer was invented, the inventor got complaints that the type sets were getting stuck when they type fast. In order to prevent the typist from typing fast, they put the commonly used vowels in such a way that the weak fingers will be used to hit them. Does that reason apply today now that we are using computers? You bet not! That’s why somebody invented the devorajk system, I bet some of you don’t know that. So next time you see some rules, ask are these rules still applicable? Does it still serve its purpose? If not, break it.
Be foolish – Especially when smart means being conventional and conforming to the accepted norms. “Don’t be foolish” is what Economic and Business Experts said when Henry Sy planned to build the SM city in the middle of nowhere at a time of great economic turmoil following Ninoy Aquino’s assassination. Look how his business is now! If that’s what you call foolish, I hope we can make similar foolish decisions.
Don’t let failure stop you from trying – What makes great people different from ordinary mortals is not the amount of success that they've achieved but the amount of times they try after each failure. Edison counted 1001 wrong ways to make a light bulb before he can find the best solution.
Ladies and Gentlemen, every piece of innovation in this world is a deviation from the norm. Without rule breaking we’d still be in caves or worse, we could have been extinct. Occasional rule-breaking therefore is essential to survival. My father gave me a great advice about rules when I was in high school. He told me rules are relative truths, they must change overtime. Books are references, not rules to be followed. You don’t live your life because books tell you so. You can choose to disagree, even make your own rules for as long as you make sure that you don’t hurt people. He also said that you cannot be in the business of breaking rules if you keep on saying it cannot be done because those words have the tendency to become a self-fulfilling prophecy.
Before I end, I must repeat that rules are important. They are boxes that keep things in proper order. But sometimes we need to go out of those boxes in order to create new orders. Go out of oft-trodden path and create new paths. I read from somewhere that one cannot be better without changing the way one does things, so change the way we do things we must! In this business of rule breaking, the only limit is your imagination, so use your imagination to find all the right answers in making this world a better one to live in.
Now go break some rules.
There is however a good deal of contradiction between following rules and greatness. Great people didn’t become what they are by following rules, they make their own even if they pay a high price for it. Galileo was deemed crazy and a heretic, Columbus was ridiculed, Bill Gates, well, Bill Gates became a billionaire. These men of history proved that some rules are meant to be broken and that for most of them it pays to break them. Some men broke some rules to make this world better. I would forever be indebted to the person who broke the rules about beach attires and invented the bikini… but not as much as the man who made earth-bound human beings fly via the airplane.
Wait; don’t go about breaking rules yet. You must learn to differentiate breaking rules that lead you to the bank from the ones that deservingly lead you to prison. There are also rules for breaking rules you know and here they are:
Believe that there are many correct answers – From elementary school to college, we’ve been taught that 1 + 1 = 2, My kindergarten teacher taught me to color the sky blue and the grass green when I draw. I heard of one who had a different answer. He colored his sky violet and the grass gray. When he was told it's wrong, he asked “why, that’s how I see the sky during sunset”. There are many correct answers, and sometimes, the second, third or fourth correct answer is the one that breaks the rule big time! Emilie Chartier said “Nothing is more dangerous than an idea when it is the only one we have.” Next time you are challenged by a problem, ask yourself questions that require plural answers, what are the solutions rather than what is the solution.
Know that it does not make sense to say that it does not make sense – People like to reject new ideas like a body rejecting a strange protein. I think it was One of the Warner Brothers who said “who wants to hear actors talk?” during the time of silent movies. We've been fond of saying “it does not make sense’ when we hear ideas that are out of whack or seemingly out of this world. I wonder how many of them were heard by Einstein, or Edison or the guy who invented golf.
Be ready to challenge the rules - Do you know why the keyboard in your computer is arranged that way? That’s because when the type writer was invented, the inventor got complaints that the type sets were getting stuck when they type fast. In order to prevent the typist from typing fast, they put the commonly used vowels in such a way that the weak fingers will be used to hit them. Does that reason apply today now that we are using computers? You bet not! That’s why somebody invented the devorajk system, I bet some of you don’t know that. So next time you see some rules, ask are these rules still applicable? Does it still serve its purpose? If not, break it.
Be foolish – Especially when smart means being conventional and conforming to the accepted norms. “Don’t be foolish” is what Economic and Business Experts said when Henry Sy planned to build the SM city in the middle of nowhere at a time of great economic turmoil following Ninoy Aquino’s assassination. Look how his business is now! If that’s what you call foolish, I hope we can make similar foolish decisions.
Don’t let failure stop you from trying – What makes great people different from ordinary mortals is not the amount of success that they've achieved but the amount of times they try after each failure. Edison counted 1001 wrong ways to make a light bulb before he can find the best solution.
Ladies and Gentlemen, every piece of innovation in this world is a deviation from the norm. Without rule breaking we’d still be in caves or worse, we could have been extinct. Occasional rule-breaking therefore is essential to survival. My father gave me a great advice about rules when I was in high school. He told me rules are relative truths, they must change overtime. Books are references, not rules to be followed. You don’t live your life because books tell you so. You can choose to disagree, even make your own rules for as long as you make sure that you don’t hurt people. He also said that you cannot be in the business of breaking rules if you keep on saying it cannot be done because those words have the tendency to become a self-fulfilling prophecy.
Before I end, I must repeat that rules are important. They are boxes that keep things in proper order. But sometimes we need to go out of those boxes in order to create new orders. Go out of oft-trodden path and create new paths. I read from somewhere that one cannot be better without changing the way one does things, so change the way we do things we must! In this business of rule breaking, the only limit is your imagination, so use your imagination to find all the right answers in making this world a better one to live in.
Now go break some rules.
A Leader Wears Many Hats by Edwin Ebreo Speech# 8
We are all leaders, because at one point or another; we have been given or have assumed the responsibility of leading people to achieve something. Our past successes together with the future ones depend on how well we wear our hats. As leaders, we wear more hats than what I have on display, the more hats you can wear the better. Your ability to change hats according to the situation will determine your success as a leader. As sure as there is a right hat for a particular occasion, wearing the wrong one can spell disaster. Let us know these hats to make sure that we don’t make that mistake.
Kings Crown – Although this doesn’t necessarily qualify as a hat, there are times when you need to wear it because you are expected to make wise judgment, and to rule and rule firmly on matters concerning your team. At times we have to make like kings. Make decisions that are good for the people and not necessarily make decisions that they like.
Lady’s hat – Whether you are male or female, you will need to wear the lady’s hat more often than you think you should. The lady’s hat represents sensitivity and maternal instinct. As leaders we need to be sensitive to the needs of our team. Look after their welfare like a mother looks after the welfare of her children.
Chef’s hat – The success of the chef depends on his ability to bring harmony to the food he cooks. His skills in putting together the right amount of right ingredients spells the difference between heaven and hell. Do you have the Chef’s skill in picking the right ingredient for your team? Do you see the potentials of each team member to contribute to the success of the team in the same way that a chef makes heavenly food out of things that are otherwise ordinary?
Fireman’s hat –No matter how negative it sounds, firefighting is something that leaders have to do. This is because no matter how much you prevent them problems do occur and a leader must be prepared to take on these problems as firemen tackle fire. Putting out a fire can leave a sense of great accomplishment, just like solving a problem, you can get used to it. You must remember however, that fires or problems cause damage no matter how quickly you fix them. Never forget that it is always better to prevent fire than to putting it out.
Baseball cap - This represents the coach’s cap. This is also the hat that requires the least explanation because it is the one most closely associated with leadership. However there is another person who also wears the same hat, the player. This reminds us that the coach, just like the player is a member of the team. They are on the same side not the opposing side. Always remember that whenever you feel like punching a team member on the nose.
Nurse’s cap – The nurse’s cap should remind you that your role is to serve. Whenever you feel that the hurts or pains of your team members is not your business, remember that you must also wear this hat. When members do not perform in the way that they are expected, you should be able to see signs and symptoms and help find a cure. Sometimes the cure is a bitter pill. Keep in mind that you do this not to make them suffer but to make them well.
Farmer’s hat – I put the farmer’s hat last because I believe that this is a very important hat. A farmer looks at a barren land and sees its potentials to bear fruits. And because he believes that “what he sow, he shall reap, he rolls up his sleeves and get down to work, cultivating the land, planting the seeds and watching over it until it bears fruit. Please note, I said watching over, not just watching. There is a big difference.
There you have it folks, the different hats we wear as leaders. It’s easy to fall in love with the hat that works best for us. But that ladies and gentlemen is what I call forbidden love. Never think that wearing just one hat is enough to get you by. As a leader, you have to be sensitive to the situation and the people and be aware of the hat that you must wear. So, choose your hats wisely and lead effectively.
Kings Crown – Although this doesn’t necessarily qualify as a hat, there are times when you need to wear it because you are expected to make wise judgment, and to rule and rule firmly on matters concerning your team. At times we have to make like kings. Make decisions that are good for the people and not necessarily make decisions that they like.
Lady’s hat – Whether you are male or female, you will need to wear the lady’s hat more often than you think you should. The lady’s hat represents sensitivity and maternal instinct. As leaders we need to be sensitive to the needs of our team. Look after their welfare like a mother looks after the welfare of her children.
Chef’s hat – The success of the chef depends on his ability to bring harmony to the food he cooks. His skills in putting together the right amount of right ingredients spells the difference between heaven and hell. Do you have the Chef’s skill in picking the right ingredient for your team? Do you see the potentials of each team member to contribute to the success of the team in the same way that a chef makes heavenly food out of things that are otherwise ordinary?
Fireman’s hat –No matter how negative it sounds, firefighting is something that leaders have to do. This is because no matter how much you prevent them problems do occur and a leader must be prepared to take on these problems as firemen tackle fire. Putting out a fire can leave a sense of great accomplishment, just like solving a problem, you can get used to it. You must remember however, that fires or problems cause damage no matter how quickly you fix them. Never forget that it is always better to prevent fire than to putting it out.
Baseball cap - This represents the coach’s cap. This is also the hat that requires the least explanation because it is the one most closely associated with leadership. However there is another person who also wears the same hat, the player. This reminds us that the coach, just like the player is a member of the team. They are on the same side not the opposing side. Always remember that whenever you feel like punching a team member on the nose.
Nurse’s cap – The nurse’s cap should remind you that your role is to serve. Whenever you feel that the hurts or pains of your team members is not your business, remember that you must also wear this hat. When members do not perform in the way that they are expected, you should be able to see signs and symptoms and help find a cure. Sometimes the cure is a bitter pill. Keep in mind that you do this not to make them suffer but to make them well.
Farmer’s hat – I put the farmer’s hat last because I believe that this is a very important hat. A farmer looks at a barren land and sees its potentials to bear fruits. And because he believes that “what he sow, he shall reap, he rolls up his sleeves and get down to work, cultivating the land, planting the seeds and watching over it until it bears fruit. Please note, I said watching over, not just watching. There is a big difference.
There you have it folks, the different hats we wear as leaders. It’s easy to fall in love with the hat that works best for us. But that ladies and gentlemen is what I call forbidden love. Never think that wearing just one hat is enough to get you by. As a leader, you have to be sensitive to the situation and the people and be aware of the hat that you must wear. So, choose your hats wisely and lead effectively.
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